Gravity

It can be perfect and messy at the same time. It can be absolutely amazing and yet the most frustrating thing in the world. It can be black and white and every shade of blue, green, and red all rolled into one. Isn’t it funny how love can be so simple and still be the most complicated thing in the world?

In his poem In Memoriam: 27, Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote, “’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Well, I can’t help but think that dear Alfred was full of immense crap. His quote is an idealistic albeit romantic load that we tell ourselves when love and relationships don’t turn out like we’d hoped or envisioned. Losing love is depressing, numbing, and the rudest of wake up calls.

Sometimes, losing love can be torturous. Even if we are the one who realizes things have changed, it still burns, it still hurts. We analyze every bit of everything we have ever said and done. We wonder what we did wrong, why something that should have worked out couldn’t stay above water. Our hearts and souls, our time and energy, are poured into a failure.

It has been said that love is akin to addiction. We crave touch. We crave comfort. We crave belonging. We crave people. So what happens when the relationship is over, when we’ve recognized and realized the dead end ahead? What happens when we no longer love the person who used to be our “other half?” We still crave touch. We still crave comfort. We still crave belonging. We still crave people.

Is it possible that even when love has fizzled, the addiction still lingers? We can know, without a doubt, that we are not “meant to be” with someone, yet still not be able to give them up. It is a comfort to have someone to call after a stressful day or after a moment you know would make them laugh. We watch a movie, see an old friend, go to a restaurant, sleep alone and are constantly reminded of their gravity.

It doesn’t matter whether someone is toxic or emotionally unavailable or incapable of fidelity, we are constantly pulled toward them. Even when we think we’ve finally made a breakthrough, that we’re done, it’s over, they call or text or e-mail and we’re back at square one. Just as alcoholics and users, we have an insatiable need to feed our addiction.

So how do we conquer our addiction? There isn’t exactly a 12-step program at the church down the street. We are left in the most vicious of cycles, which is seemingly unbreakable. Maybe the old saying is right, we truly can’t defy gravity.

Sara Bareilles hit the nail on the head with her song “Gravity.” I’ve posted the video below so that she can share her powerful words with all of you. Click here for lyrics.

Get Sara Bareilles’ CD at Amazon.com
Little Voice

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Posted by kira on Friday, January 22nd, 2010 and is filed under Featured, Latest Headlines. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.