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8 Signs He’s Crossed the Line With a Female Friend
Once again Paige Parker hits home. When the ex b/f and I broke up, it was all about his “friend.” He said I overreacted and, a month later, told me he missed me but not my jealousy. I’ve never in my life been called jealous and I am usually very intuitive. Yet, I doubted myself. I wondered if he was right? Did I overreact? Was I being jealous?
Then this weekend, I went to watch his band play. Of course, she was there. Whether or not he even knew I was there, I don’t know, but watching him flirt with her from the stage and watching her watch him, I knew in my gut I hadn’t overreacted. There was, and still is, something between them.
When I read Paige Parker’s newsletter and could answer yes to several of the eight signs, I knew I was right even then. Moral of the story? Trust yourself ladies! If you find yourself wondering if his friend is more than a friend or if there is, at the least, some kind of emotional infidelity going on, ask yourself these eight questions. If you can answer yes to one or more, you may have a problem on your hands.
- Is he interacting with her on a regular basis by CHOICE (e.g. they work on different floors but routinely meet in the cafeteria for lunch) rather than necessity (e.g. they’re in the same department at work)?
- Is he overly secretive about her, or does he talk about her constantly and emphatically (e.g. “Cassie’s so funny!” “Cassie’s so easy to talk to …”)?
- When they spend time together, do they exclude others (friends, significant others, co-workers) so they can “catch-up” one on one?
- Are you excluded or made to feel unwelcome when they spend time together?
- Do you get the sense that he’s trying to keep you and his “friend” from meeting?
- If you have met her, does she act awkward, uncomfortable, rude or competitive?
- Does he confide in her about personal matters? Does she know details about your relationship?
- Does he compare you to her (e.g. “Stop nagging me! Why can’t you be laid-back like Cassie?”)?
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Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts September 29th, 2009, 3:05 pm
Oh my goodness! Those 8 questions are PERFECT! I have learned to trust my instinct.
Honey September 29th, 2009, 6:21 pm
I know that Jake wouldn’t cross the line with a friend, and is very good about his female friends (of which he has a lot, as he grew up and went to college in the place where we live). There is at least one woman that I know would absolutely cross the line, though he never would. That’s what’s weird. We have been out in a group numerous times and I don’t think he even notices that about her (he’s pretty terrible at reading people in general, his dad has Aspberger’s and while I don’t think he does, he did seem to inherit that aspect).
lisaq September 30th, 2009, 3:16 pm
They’re definitely good questions I’ll keep in the back of my mind from now on so I can be more confident in trusting my intuition Tee.
You know, that’s the other side of the thing is being able to trust the women involved. Obviously J and I had trust issues going on but even if I had trusted him implicitly, I’d would have never trusted her. A big part of me still thinks that she set out to do exactly what she did…break us up. She reads as very conniving and seemed to know exactly what buttons to push.