How to Tell Your Date You Have an STD

If you’ve ever watched a Howcast video, you know that they are a little on the, well, ridiculous side. This one, while still infused with the silly music and cheesy couple, still contains good advice.

For someone with an STD, this is perhaps one of the most dreaded parts of dating. No one wants to tell their date that they have an STD, but the truth is, unless you want to find yourself embroiled in the middle of an ugly lawsuit, there really is no option.

As pointed out, be prepared. You need to be armed with the necessary medical information. You need to know what the hell you’re talking about concerning the risks, preventative measures and other pertinent information.

You will also most certainly need privacy. The last thing you need is a family member or roommate to come busting in on the middle of your conversation. A public place, such as a restaurant, is probably not the best option either.

Don’t let yourself get caught up in the middle of a mess of emotions. In this case, it’s better to be matter of fact. Getting emotional will only make the situation more difficult than it already is.

If it goes well and your date doesn’t run for the hills, you will need to be prepared for safe sex so you don’t put your partner at risk as well.

So, how do you actually tell him? Here, according to Howcast, is how to do it in 7 steps.

Step 1:

Have the talk before you have sex. This may very well seem like a gimme, but we all know how easy it is to get caught up in the moment. Waiting until that moment could result in a) your partner running like hell or b) you not telling him after all. Then, well, you’ve really screwed things up.

Step 2:

Break the news in person. Your partner deserves this. Your lack of courage is no excuse to tell via text or email.

Step 3:

Pick a good time and place to break the news. As mentioned above, you aren’t going to want to have to deal with interuptions.

Step 4:

Again, deliver the news in a matter of fact way and don’t let your emotions get the best of you. It’s an awful talk to have to have, but getting emotional will seriously only make it worse. Stress how common STDs are. In fact, 19 million new STD cases are reported in the U.S. each year. You’re not a dating pariah, only someone who trusted someone they shouldn’t have.

Step 5:

Ask them if they’ve been tested. They may have an STD and not even know. Many STDs just kind of hang out without signs or symptoms and you’d be surpised how many people don’t get tested.

Step 6:

Again, take precautions so that you don’t pass it on to your partner. Condoms are really an inexpensive way to keep him safe.

Step 7:

If the worst happens and your date rejects you, just walk away and move on. Someone who rejects you in this situation is not someone you want in your life anyway.

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Posted by lisaq on Friday, September 11th, 2009 and is filed under Featured, Tips & Tricks. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “How to Tell Your Date You Have an STD”

Honey September 11th, 2009, 1:53 pm

Jake and I got tested after we’d been monogamous 3 months, and I continue to get tested every year because my health insurance covers it for free as part of the “well woman” exam. It’s important for new couples to get tested, too. Even if the girl gets tested, the guy still should too – things don’t always get passed right away, so a clean bill of health on one person’s part doesn’t mean they both are – and if you stay together and someone has an STD and doesn’t know it, you may not get it right away too, but probably will eventually.
lisaq September 12th, 2009, 6:15 am

I am absolutely amazed that people don’t get tested. You are literally taking someone’s life in your hands these days when you sleep with them. Not getting tested is ridiculously irresponsible.