Screw Cupid: The Sassy Girl’s Guide to Picking Up Hot Guys

Samantha Scholfield’s Screw Cupid: The Sassy Girl’s Guide to Picking Up Hot Guys is, according to the book jacket, “a dating manual for every woman ready to take her dating life into her own hands,” but I have to be honest and tell you it’s probably not lisaq’s dating manual. I’m not doubting the technique works. Sam gives plenty of proof that it is does. I’m just not sure a) it’s for every woman and that it’s realistic for b) women living in a town with a limited dating pool or c) women who might be a little on the shy side.

The truth is that I think the whole “pick-up” movement is one you love or one you hate. If you are fan of pick-up and have the time and men at your disposal, then Screw Cupid is probably the book for you. Now, if you’ve been here before, you know that I have absolutely nothing against pick-up and pick-up artists. I think there is tons of value in it for women as well as for men. Sam’s book simply takes that to another level.

Overall, I think the book is full of ideas for women who want to take control of their dating lives. Just as with pick-up itself, I see plenty in there I could see myself implementing, for lack of a better word, into my own dating life. Opening, however, may not be one of them.

As defined in Screw Cupid, opening is:

The term used to describe the neutral conversation with a Hot Guy–usually only referring to the first two to three minutes of conversation. The opener can consist of a question of opinion to settle an argument or to answer a question you might have. It can be a need for information, a comment on a shared experience, or a combination of a shared experience and a need for information. The key component of the opener is that it should be neutral (i.e., containing no sexual component). Body language and delivery should be congruent.

Now, in itself, I get the concept. The problem for me is in the execution. You see, the whole idea of settling an argument or answering a question you might have, per Sam, is that the argument or question should be something guy related. For example, why do guys hog the remote or grunt while their working out. The truth is in my whole life, I can’t imagine approaching a strange guy and asking him something like this seemingly out of thin air.

A need for information such as the time or information about a book or a gift I’m buying, maybe. A shared experience, okay. But asking some random dude why guys grunt while working out seems much too forced and out of character for me. Now, that’s not to say it doesn’t work. Obviously, it does. I’m just saying I’m not sure I could see myself doing it. By the way, these openers can be used solo or with a wing (a female accomplice of sorts).

What I can see myself doing is using the openers in an online dating site situation. Less pressure, less chance of lisaq feeling like an idiot. Screw Cupid gives suggestions for doing just that and I think, given the popularity of online dating, this is information more women might actually use.

Other valuable information given in the openers section is a list of five steps to building the confidence to open your mouth and deliver the opener. Even if you never deliver an opener, these steps will go a long way to helping you talk to men. My girl G has never met a stranger. She talks to people she doesn’t know in every single social situation I’ve ever seen her in. She is completely comfortable doing so. I have a little shy streak that makes that very uncomfortable for me, so the five steps are very appealing to me.

From there Sam gives detailed information about continuing the conversation, building rapport and securing the first date. All of this is great information. I especially like her philosophy on exchanging phone numbers. While many PUAs talk about a “number close,” that is the objective of the conversation/interaction is to get a phone number, Sam actually advises against it. Why? Because we’ve all exchanged numbers and then sat around waiting for the damn phone to ring. Ugh.

Instead, Sam suggests using a simple line like this if he suggests exchanging numbers:

Him: It’s been a pleasure meeting you. Let’s exchange numbers.

You: Um…I’m not so big on phones. But what’s your schedule like this week?

Him: Let me see. Tomorrow’s no good, but I’m around on Thursday. Could you do something then?

You: Sure–Thursday works.

Him: How about we go to dinner at that sushi place I was telling you about?

You: Sounds good. What time?

Him: Eight?

You: Sounds good. Shall we swap phone numbers just in case?

Him. OK

The beauty of this is that 1) you’re not sitting around waiting for him to call and 2) you’ve already secured a first date. You’ve got to love that!

In Screw Cupid, Sam also discusses two other things I think are very important. First is the “click factor,” which is “the feeling you get when you meet another person you know that he understands you completely. If the click factor is there, thoughts are finished by the opposite party within the first ten minutes. This person is also someone you like immensely.” This is what we’re looking for girls. That Hot Guy with the click factor is the objective.

The “screen” helps you find it. My favorite part of the screen is that it validates what I’ve said for years. That there is no need to waste time on someone you know doesn’t fit what you want in a man. You don’t have to wait to see if someone grows on you. You simply ask well designed, non-interview like questions to determine if there is a deal breaker here. If so, you simply thank the dude for the conversation and walk away. If you are into tall guys and he stands up and is too short, you can excuse yourself and move on. Listen, I catch crap for this all the time, but the truth is there are things we want and things we don’t want in a man. If tall is one of them, why the hell should you bother with the guy who’s 5′ 6″ you know you’re not attracted to?

Girls, obviously there’s tons more information in Screw Cupid than I can give you here.

To win your very own copy (actually it’s my copy but I’ll give it to you), simply leave a comment. In a few days, Kira & I will hold a random drawing from those who comment. The winner will be notified by email.

Or you can visit Amazon. com to pre-order your copy today by visiting the link below!

Screw Cupid: The Sassy Girl’s Guide to Picking Up Hot Guys

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Posted by lisaq on Monday, August 24th, 2009 and is filed under Books, Featured, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “Screw Cupid: The Sassy Girl’s Guide to Picking Up Hot Guys”

Renu August 24th, 2009, 3:22 pm

That is exciting news
Simone Grant August 29th, 2009, 4:01 pm

Why on earth would you catch hell for saying the obvious truth – that we all have things we screen for? People are such idiots sometimes. Seriously. Tall isn’t my thing, but if it were then I wouldn’t feel bad or guilty about screening for it (actually, I screen out ‘too-tall’ because I’m so short).