Relationship Turn-Around In 4 Steps

According to Catch Him & Keep Him creator Christian Carter, “if a man senses from your emotions that you are more attached to the relationship than you are to your own happiness – he’ll often start thinking of your relationship as less valuable to him. I know this all sounds strange and ridiculous, but it’s the way men think and act.” The key, he says, is living up to your own standards.

This means creating the life you want and deserve, but living it regardless of other people…including men.

If a relationship isn’t working out the way they want, many women find themselves fighting the laws of physics by struggling against the thing that isn’t working. That “thing,” probably a man in this case, resists in turn when you are trying to push against, or change him.

Rather, Christian says, if you are following your own standards and observing the life and love you choose to create and share, you will see what works for you and what doesn’t. In other words, view your life with love and compassion for yourself. This will also ensure that you don’t settle for less than you deserve and you end up teaching those closest to you how to love and respect you.

So, instead of blaming and criticizing and demanding you get what you want and need, you remain that ‘whole person’ who inspires others the kind of love you want to share and freely gives love when you choose to.

Putting this into practice looks like this:

Step 1: Break The Cycle

It’s difficult to see the truth of situations when we are in them sometimes. If we’re in a relationship that isn’t working or feels stuck, we don’t see how we are feeding into the very problems we want to fix. The key isn’t trying harder to solve the problem. This is, in fact, the worst thing you can do. It only serves to draw both of you into the quagmire more deeply.

Rather, you have to stop creating the energy that comes from what isn’t working by stepping outside your own patterns and habits. One way Christian suggests this:

A great way to do this is to simply stop arguing, complaining, or trying to make any kind of point about your feelings, or about him.

Do this even just for a day, and go about your life with excitement and interest, and you’ll be amazed at what can transpire while you’re not even trying.

According to him, men love to be with you when you are simply present in the moment and enjoying living your life. By following his suggestion you are stepping away from negative energy and creating a better, lighter energy between you and your man.

Step 2: Get “Grounded”

Finding your center and getting to a more positive place of well-being. When you’re not feeling your best, things around you feel worse. So before initiating any kind of discussion, it’s best to get grounded and find a more loving place. When you are coming from a place of love, you almost always get love in return.

Here are some simple tips Christian gives for getting grounded:

Take a long hot bath when frustration or anxiety strikes, and put your attention into your SENSES for just that time

Be active. When our body moves, it also helps move and clear our mind

Remember to BREATHE. Breathing deeply for just 4 or 5 deep full breaths in and out can instantly fill you back up emotionally and put your heart and mind in a better place

Getting grounded puts you in a much better place to think and feel clearly about the situation and how to approach your man about it.

Step 3: Consider Your “Approach”

Sharing your feelings is great as is knowing exactly how we feel. It’s important that we remember to “own” our emotions rather than them owning us and taking over. This way we are concious of our feelings and are able to observe them the moment they appear. Christian maintains that this is one of the most valuable skills we can have in a relationship.

Put simply, because it allows us to stay focused and directed at POSITIVE OUTCOMES in our life.

If what you want is to feel CONNECTED to your man, but you allow some of your feelings of sadness to cause you to lash out or CRITICIZE HIM…

Then it’s very unlikely that he’s going to respond positively and CONNECT back with you.

Step 4: When In Doubt, Love What Is

Christian says there’s only one way to live a satisfying and fulfilling life or to have a satisfying and fulfilling relationship and that is to love your life and live it to the fullest right now even if it isn’t exactly the way you want it right now.

What we normally do is love what isn’t, and that doesn’t get us anywhere. Not to mention, it makes us miserable. Many times we try to hold everything in place because we think if we don’t, it will all fall apart. The truth is that if you don’t hold on so tightly and try to keep everything in place, the sun still comes up and the world keeps spinning around without us trying so hard.

Going about my life in a loving and open way even when things aren’t exactly the way I want them to be is something I am working on in my own life because I’ve recently lived the disaster that is trying to hold on too tightly. I believe there is truth in what Christian maintains here. That men love women who live their lives to the fullest even if it isn’t perfect right then.

Thoughts?

Share and Enjoy:

Are You in a Relationship With a Narcissist? Many of you have probably been lucky enough to...
5 Reasons A Man Falls Out Of Love & Leaves It’s happened. The man in your life left you....
How to Break the Cycle of Bad Relationships and Just Say “No” to Drama 1. I often find myself attracted to “bad boys,”...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Posted by lisaq on Friday, July 31st, 2009 and is filed under Featured, Tips & Tricks. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.