All About Calling-Paige Parker Answers 5 Burning Questions

According to Paige Parker and Dating Without Drama it’s not okay for a woman to call a man first. Here Paige addresses this and 4 other questions about calling men.

Dating Dilemma #1-Why can’t I call him first?

Paige says that not calling him first is in fact more empowering than doing the calling. She says women, in her opinion, should never, ever call first and gives three reasons why women should wait for men to call them first.

IF HE LIKES YOU, HE *WILL* CALL YOU FIRST.-Paige’s reason for this is that MOST men like to be the ones who pursue. In addition, if you call first, ask them out first, or even tell them to call, they relaxed and feel like they don’t have to put in any effort at all. They can simply sit back and let you do all of the work. She says that, if you let the right man take the lead and let things unfold from there, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
WHEN YOU LET HIM CALL YOU, YOU SEND THE MESSAGE THAT YOU’RE A HOT COMMODITY.-When you meet a man and he is attracted to you, he believes that he had better hurry and call you to beat all of the other men out there to you. If you call him first, you shatter that illusion. Suddenly, he thinks, that if you’re calling him you must not have other options. You think modern woman; he thinks desperate.
*NOT* CALLING EMPOWERS YOU.-According to Paige, “Although it may seem counterintuitive at first, allowing HIM to call you for the first month or so can be empowering. If he’s the one calling you, you always know where you stand with him. If the phone keeps ringing and he keeps asking you on dates, you can be sure that he’s into you.”

Dating Dilemma #2-But HE SAID “Call ME!”

Paige believes that “Call Me” simply doesn’t necessarily mean call me. Here are her 3 reasons why men tell you to call them.

Some men don’t mean it literally when they tell you to call them. It’s simply a phrase they use just like “See you later!” If you’ve been seeing a man and he’s been actively pursuing you, he will be more specific giving you a day and time such as, “Call me when you get out of work on Friday and we’ll meet for happy hour,” or “Call me after your big presentation and let me know how it goes.”
Some men use “Call me,” as a way of ending a date without rejecting you. Sometimes they just don’t know how to tell you the date just didn’t do it for them and they use telling you to call them as a way of not having to commit to seeing you again. In a perfect world, they would just tell you they weren’t feeling you. It’s not a perfect world. Chances are, if you do call him, he won’t answer.
Then there are the men who don’t want the responsibility of moving forward. Many times these men are juggling several different women and want to keep you as an option. Being just an option is, well, not an option. You should be a priority!

Dating Dilemma #3-What are the rules for text messaging?

Paige gives 4 guidelines for texting.

Just like phone calls, never text first. If he texts you, return the message, but never text first.
Texting should probably used for practical/logistical issues rather than chatting. For example, it’s okay to text if you’re stuck in traffic or running late or even to confirm plans.
If he texts you a flirty message, it’s okay to return a flirty message but…
“Don’t text your heart on your sleeve.” For example, if he texts that he had a great time last night and can’t stop thinking about you, resist the urge to reply in kind. A simple text telling him you had a great time too is plenty.
Resist replying to flirty text with a risqué reply. Sharing all of your naughty thoughts too soon may very well have him running to the hills and, once he gets there, sharing your naughty thoughts with his buddies. Ouch!

Dating Dilemma #4: “He Said He Would Call and He Didn’t!”

And you told him you’d wait for his call and then sat watching the phone waiting for the phone to ring, right? Never, ever, ever put your life on hold waiting for a phone call! Certainly never tell him you’ll be waiting for his call. By doing so you’ve just sucked the excitement out the whole thing. Telling a man you’ll be waiting for his call reads needy and desperate. Yuck!

Instead, in a lighthearted tone say something like, “Cool. Talk to you soon.” Then go about your normal day. If he gets your voicemail, it lets him know you have other things going on in your life than just waiting for him to call. If he does call, keep it light and let him know what you’ve been doing. Again, you’re sending a message that you have a full, exciting life and men find that sexy and intriguing.

Dating Dilemma #5: “How Do I Know When It’s OK to Call Him?”

Paige’s “don’t call rule” is intended for when you’re seeing someone new. He’ll grow tired of the game of pursuing you and realizes that just being with you is thrill enough. This may coincide with the decision to be exclusive. It may come after the third date. It may come when you slide into an automatic Saturday night date. Every relationship is different, but once you sense that the pursuer/pursuee game has ended, it’s okay to initiate some phone calls.

You should initiate them sparingly, however, until you are in a committed relationship. Calling at the drop of the hate before the relationship has reached the serious stage, may once again make you seem to easily accessible.

For more of Paige’s dating tips visit Dating Without Drama

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Posted by lisaq on Friday, July 10th, 2009 and is filed under Featured, Tips & Tricks. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

5 Responses to “All About Calling-Paige Parker Answers 5 Burning Questions”

saneandsingle July 10th, 2009, 3:12 pm

I think these are really good tips! I’ll be honest though…I haven’t always followed them! LOL

saneandsingle´s last blog post..I think I may be off the market…
auntiegwen July 11th, 2009, 1:23 am

Remember when Charlotte in SATC said she was so tired of all this dating, that’s she’d being doing it for years ?

I think we could all empathise with that.

auntiegwen´s last blog post..Powerless
lisaq July 11th, 2009, 8:59 am

Yeah saneandsingle. Me either. I do okay except for the texting.

Oh Gwen. I can sure as hell empathize with that!
searchingwithin July 12th, 2009, 10:13 am

I have been working on an article about just this type of thing that I haven’t posted yet, but here is an excerpt:

” A powerful woman waits for her man to come to her, and expects to be cherished and treasured, she does not beg for it. Then she is receptive, if she so chooses, when he comes. Never underestimate the power of ignoring someone. A vacuum is created, a curiosity mounts, rejection is felt.”

searchingwithin´s last blog post..I Am Not Tempted By Anything But Temptation
Erin December 2nd, 2009, 11:07 am

Great advice. Something I have to remember to stick by. Reminds me of the book/movie He’s Just Not That Into You…

If a man is legitimately interested, he will be more than keen to be the first to call/text. And if not, well, he’s not worth your time!
Erin´s last blog ..D-Rated