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Understanding Men by Gina G
In reality, it is pretty simple, but most women have the toughest time understanding men. Hidden inside the heart of every man is a secret longing to be trusted. How many times have men said to their wives, “If you would just trust me?”
Many men wonder why it seems so difficult for their wives to do something so seemingly easy. The answer stems from the physiological disparities involving the sexes.
It starts at birth when little boys are given a distinct physical benefit above little girls by having elevated levels of testosterone. With testosterone comes the physical strength to protect themselves from risk.
Most little girls don’t possess that capacity. They don’t have the power to protect themselves in a raw fight once they feel endangered.
If a boy trusts someone who in turn hurts him, he can all the time defend himself physically. Little girls don’t possess that physical power. Because a someone can only trust from a position of strength, those same little girls will grow up into women who genuinely have a more hard time “trusting” once they feel helpless.
So men, while you ask the woman of your choice to simply “trust you,” it is not that she can’t, it is just that she is more weak than you are. If you want her to depend on you, she needs something that will assist her grow that trust.
Perhaps even a token action that she can “count on” until her faith in you is established. Thankfully this means already exists and is known by every woman. What develops faith in a woman is a man who constantly keeps his word. To her, making a guarantee is meaningless if there is no follow-through.
A woman wants to SEE her man carry out his promises – not just hear his pledge without action.
Allow me to illustrate. Imagine somebody told you that I was the selfish individual they had ever met. For months, all you heard was how terrible I treated my relatives and friends.
Then one day you come across me, and through the course of our meeting, you start to see that I do not seem to be as horrible as you have been led to think. I in fact seem to be rather pleasant.
Would you change your entire judgment about me on or after just one visit? Perhaps not! Nonetheless, if you saw me take action consistently with compassion and meekness over a period of some weeks, your view of me would start to alter.
A paradox has now been established in understanding men. The compassion you have seen in me for the previous few weeks does not match what you have heard concerning me. All the reports of how mean I am begin to fade into darkness as a result of my consistent actions.
Over time, what you see will replace almost, if not all, of your worries about my character.
Men, as soon as the woman you love sees your words lining up with your actions, belief will naturally follow. When you don’t keep your word, it makes your spouse or girlfriend to become scared. From her perspective, she has trusted you with her affection and Desires to depend on you. She just wants you to assist her count on so she can provide you what you want.
Understanding men can be very tough because most men think there is no one on the planet who knows and understands them to the degree that they crave and deserve.
Learn more about Gina G at Relationships & Dating Tips
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searchingwithin July 2nd, 2009, 10:52 am
Men want us to trust them, in that they will not hurt us emotionally, and physically, but also to trust that they are able to accomplish and succeed at the task at hand, and to provide. Even though it may not be so, or we don’t think so, most men still see themselves as the provider. They still believe that ultimate responsibility lies on them.
Without a doubt, every ones words and actions should be congruent, and any variation creates distrust, even in simple conversations, involving body language. They both have to match to be believed.
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Honey July 6th, 2009, 3:08 pm
From a biological perspective (which is maybe not the best way to approach this argument anyway) the reasoning here seems a little backwards. If guys can protect themselves physically and girls can’t, wouldn’t it stand to reason that girls would automatically trust others to protect them and guys wouldn’t trust anyone but themselves?
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