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The Dos & Don’ts of Texting & Dating
I love texting as anyone who knows me can tell you. Some days it’s constant. It’s not just me. Kira and I text nonstop some days. In fact, if a day goes by and I don’t get a text from her, I worry. I text friends, my hair stylist, my Pure Romance upline, even my dad. I find it not only convenient, but a more comfortable way for me to communicate since I’m not really one of those girls who enjoys talking on the phone.
I believe that texting in dating is completely appropriate used correctly but, as I was reminded of recently, there are times when it is a definite no-no.
For example, when the drama demons show up, it’s best not to hit send. I realize that for some of us, yours truly included, that’s sometimes easier said than done. But, as one of my college professors was fond of saying, “If you have to ask if it’s appropriate, it probably isn’t.” If you can’t help but type it, go right ahead. Just don’t send it. Save it drafts and give it some time. If, after you’ve gotten control, it seems appropriate, go ahead. Be sure to give very careful consideration first.
Dos
- Do use texting to verify times of dates, etc.
- Do use texting to ask questions about times, locations, etc.
- Definitely do use texting to send a quick “I’m thinking about you” or “I miss you” text especially if you’re on vacation or apart for whatever reason.
- Do have fun with texting. A mid-morning sexy text is a great way to bring a smile to your sweetie’s face.
Don’ts
- Don’t over-text. Not everyone has the time or the inclination to text all day, every day.
- Don’t text when angry, frustrated, or otherwise unhappy with your partner.
- Don’t communicate about serious relationship issues via text.
- Don’t cancel dates via text. (Also applies to email)
- Don’t break up with someone using a “Dear John” text. (Also applies to email)
Other things to remember
- Not everyone loves texting. In fact, some people hate it. If that’s the case, respect your dates wishes.
- You may not always get an immediate response. We seem to have an expectation that we should get a reply to our text right away, but that may not always happen. Some people are slow responders or they may be actually using their phone to, you know, talk on the phone, or they may even be away from their phone for some reason. Be patient and don’t overreact if you don’t get a response as quickly as you think you should.
- You may not get a response at all. Sometimes, even when you think a reply is in order, the recipient may not. Be careful not to take it personally. It happens sometimes that people get caught up in life and forget to reply. And remember, not everyone keeps a text count like you might.
- Texting can easily lead to misinterpretation. Recently, when recounting a text I received, I said that the tone of it was nasty. The person I was talking to said, “Tone? In a text?” Point taken. It’s not always easy to read the mood or tone behind the text.
Texting is another great way to communicate, but it’s important to mention that there are still the “old school” ways as well. It’s best to communicate important things via a good old-fashioned phone call or in person.
Thoughts?
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auntiegwen June 25th, 2009, 12:25 pm
My name is auntiegwen and I too am a textaholic
auntiegwen´s last blog post..auntiegwens guide of what not to do lesson 2 – How not to upset people.
searchingwithin July 2nd, 2009, 11:10 am
I have one rule when it comes to texting – NO TEXTING AT ALL!
Works for me.
searchingwithin´s last blog post..The Love Triangle – The Ugly Side of Human Nature