Comments on: Why His Bad Behavior Is Actually Good For You

By: lisaq

lisaq — Mon, 18 May 2009 10:49:00 +0000

I think, saneandsingle, that sometimes, if we’ve had a lot of bad experiences, that giving up too early may be a defense mechanism. We do before they have the chance.

Thanks SINgleGIRL. I think it’s always good to look at things with fresh eyes.

By: Why His Bad Behavior Is Actually Good For You-Part 2 | 20-forty.com

Why His Bad Behavior Is Actually Good For You-Part 2 | 20-forty.com — Mon, 18 May 2009 10:01:43 +0000

[...] week there was some discussion about why his bad behavior is good for you. Thomas asked if I was referring to terrible behavior or small hiccups that sometimes occur in a [...]

By: SINgleGIRL

SINgleGIRL — Sun, 17 May 2009 23:27:01 +0000

It's definitely good advice. Although some of us have a hard time telling the difference between a little hiccup and a big horrible thing. Like saneandsingle, I think I've given up too early at times. Maybe. But I like the idea of reframing the way you look at these things. SINgleGIRL´s last blog post..Loved & Lost Guy

By: saneandsingle

saneandsingle — Fri, 15 May 2009 16:02:18 +0000

You know I think this is great advice, but lately I've been thinking that maybe I give up too early at times. saneandsingle´s last blog post..I'm back, bitches!!!

By: lisaq

lisaq — Fri, 15 May 2009 10:18:53 +0000

Thanks Tee!

Yes Thomas. I was thinking something terrible. Many times we let even the big things pass and do everything we can to save something that shouldn’t be saved. Hiccups are very different. Hell, even I hiccup now and then.

You’re right Open Your Heart. Sometimes they’re so good we don’t see it for a very long time. My ex-husband was as good as your ex. I think that’s a master manipulator and very different yet at times I think if I had, as you said, pieced together the small red flags, I’d have saved myself a hella lot of heartache.

By: Open Your Heart to the Love

Open Your Heart to the Love — Thu, 14 May 2009 22:24:04 +0000

It would be so nice if they showed you at the beginning, but this isn't always the case. It took my last ex 1 1/2 years to show his true colors. There were small red flags, but not deal breakers. Looking back, I should have kept a closer eye on those small red flags, and some of the off handed comments he made here and there, because when you patch them together and form flag, they added up. He changed when something didn't go just the way he wanted it to, and he changed overnight. I could not believe this was the same person. I would never in a million years have believed those opposite identities could possibly live in the same body. Open Your Heart to the Love´s last blog post..Love Is In the Air - Lovebugs

By: Thomas

Thomas — Thu, 14 May 2009 15:45:37 +0000

Can I assume that this "bad behavior" is something that's he's done that's terrible? The reason why I ask is I've made my own fair share of mistakes in my relationship and they were simply hiccups really. Nothing terrible at all. I feel like if it's very small it can be given a pass (but remembered for future reference) as opposed to a deal breaker or a severe red flag. Do you get what I am saying here? Thomas´s last blog post..Elements of Communication: Element #5: Actually Communicating

By: Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts — Thu, 14 May 2009 14:33:34 +0000

A great post! Really great advice here. Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts´s last blog post..Caught Between a Rock and A Hard Place