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How to Introduce Sex Toys Into Your Relationship
Have you been thinking it would be fun to try sex toys with your partner but are embarrassed to walk into the local adult store to buy them? Or maybe you afraid your partner will be offended? You’re not alone and it’s no wonder. Sex toys can spice up your love life and bring adventure to your bedroom.
There are a lot of people just like you who have been dying to introduce sex toys into their relationships but are have no idea where to begin. I also had a client say to me that she was afraid her husband would be offended because, if she bought a vibrator, he might think she was trying to replace him or didn’t need him anymore. Luckily, for you it’s easier than you might think to introduce sex toys into your relationship. In fact, there are three very good reasons why you should.
Sex Toys Just Feel Good
I doubt very seriously that you’d argue with the fact that orgasms just feel good. The good news is that sex toys actually help you have better, stronger, longer orgasms…with or without a partner. Obviously, that’s a very good thing!
Sex Toys are Fun
Often couples get bored with their sex lives. You find yourself so busy that sex gets relegated to the back burner and, when it does happen, it can become the same old, same old. Sex toys can bring excitement to your relationship and keep things from getting boring. Think about it. Exploring sex toys together is a new experience that you are sharing together bringing you closer together. It’s a perfect way to create intimacy.
Sex Toys Make Sex Better
Listen, it’s a cold, hard fact that many women have a hard time reaching orgasm without clitoral stimulation. And, obviously, that’s a little difficult to do during sex. Also, many men have trouble sustaining their erections as long as they would like. Sex toys can help in both of those situations. They can also enhance a perfectly good lovemaking session, adding just enough “oomph” to turn a great experience into an outstanding one.
Okay. So you still have concerns right. Let’s put those to rest right now!
CONCERN: Sex toys are for perverts, weirdos, sluts or freaks.
You would seriously be surprised at the people who use sex toys–even perfectly normal people. Sure, perverts, weirdos, sluts and freaks use sex toys, but so do doctors, lawyers, housewives, teachers, accountants, bus drivers, secretaries … and just about anyone else you can think of. Using a sex toy doesn’t make you a freak. It just helps you bring more spice to your bedroom.
And yes, sex toys are mostly used for solo sex, many couples use sex toys together, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship. In fact it means quite the opposite. Usually the kinds of people who are comfortable trying new things together are open-minded, intimate, comfortable and trusting. Using a sex toy together is a good way to reaffirm the strength of your relationship.
CONCERN: Your partner will feel inadequate if you start using a sex toy.
Many people express concern that bringing a sex toy into their relationship will hurt their partner’s feelings. It’s understandable: a huge, vibrating penis that brings you to climax every time? Who wouldn’t be jealous? Seriously, a sex toy can give you an orgasm, but it can’t cuddle with you afterwards. Sex toys will never replace live humans. If your lover has this fear, be sensitive and stroke his or her ego a little bit. As with most relationship issues, good communication can go a long way to solving the problem.
CONCERN: If your relationship is solid, there’s no reason why you should need a sex toy.
As I’ve already discussed, using a sex toy with your lover can actually strengthen your relationship. You need to have a certain amount of closeness to share this intimate new experience together. Using a sex toy can be a good affirmation of that closeness. If your lover doesn’t think you need a sex toy to brighten up your sex life, assure him or her that you don’t need a sex toy either, you’d just like to try one.
CONCERN: Buying sex toys can be really embarrassing.
Absolutely! That’s exactly why Pure Romance has an anonymous place to buy them! Seriously, if you aren’t comfortable going to a sex shop and picking out a dildo, you have lots of other options. You and your partner can order from a catalog or a website. Just drop by PureRomance.com to order.
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dadshouse April 27th, 2009, 3:21 pm
Great advice! I don’t use sex toys, but I do get creative with bed partners, and props (belts or other articles of clothing) sometimes come into play. I think the key is to be respectful of limits. If one person says “um, no thanks” then you move onto something else, no feelings hurt.
dadshouse´s last blog post..My Drunk Date
lisaq April 28th, 2009, 6:39 am
Very good point dadshouse. It’s about what you are both comfortable with. Never cross a line or pressure someone into doing something they don’t want to do.
Janice@Adult Toys June 24th, 2009, 9:33 am
Very useful tips, because as we know the approach weighs heavily especially that most women are not very vocal about how they feel, because we don’t want to give our partners the wrong impression. What was once considered as taboo is now widely embraced by lots of people, and that’s great news because the monotonous sex in the bedroom could get boring after a few years, and the incorporation of sex toys are the best solution to this.