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The Truth About One Night Stands?
I came across this video on GirlsTeachGuys.com which, if you haven’t checked it out yet, is a site with tons and tons of videos and articles about dating, relationships and sex. It’s worth visiting. Anyway the title of this video caught my eye and, I’ll admit, she kind of had me…until she started talking about older women which she defines as women over 30 by the way. Watch the video and then be sure to read my thoughts and share yours.
Okay, first most older, single women are more confident than many of their younger counterparts. It’s one of the reason that so many younger men are attracted to older women. We, older women that is, are extremely confident. Many of us have been down a long road and have learned, not only who we are, but to love who we are. We know our own value and come across as strong and experienced. We are not all feeling lonely and seeking attention and validation by picking up some dude in a bar.
She also says that we feel as if we only have a little bit of time left to play around. This one is so ridiculous it’s almost laughable. Older women are in their prime not only sexually but in every other way as well. Many of us have raised our children and are having the time of our lives focusing on ourselves. There is certainly no feeling of pressure to f*ck every man we run into before we curl up and die.
In my opinion, one night stands come in two varieties. Those engaged in just for the reasons mentioned…loneliness and lack of confidence. These are not, however, limited to older women or men for that matter. People who engage in one night stands of this nature are trying to find validation in sex. Believe me, as a girl who used to fall into this category, I know what I’m talking about here. These are people of both genders with low self esteem who find themselves unable to find what they need within themselves and search for it in other places.
It’s not the who, it’s the what. Yes, there may be alcohol involved and this leads to less selectivity than they might normally exhibit. There may be a long line of people in their past and the line continues form. Sadly, it will just keep forming until they recognize their issues and make a change.
When I was engaging in this behavior, when I was younger I might add, I was looking for someone or something to make me feel important if even for a moment. I didn’t feel as if I mattered and it was one way of doing just that for just a little while. It’s important to mention that these may be people who engage in one night stands on a regular basis.
The second type of people who engage in an occasional one night stand are exactly opposite. They are just confident enough in themselves in and in their sexuality to indulge once in awhile. If not in a commited relationship, they recognize that they have needs which have to get met.
They are discriminating. They aren’t prowling the bars jumping the first person that comes along. They are selective and careful about the partners they choose. Rather than being promiscuous, they are being realistic knowing that while toys and vibrators are wonderful, they don’t take the place of the real thing.
Thoughts?
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searchingwithin April 20th, 2009, 10:28 am
The other one, which falls into the low self-esteem category, is the woman that has her eye on a man that she wants to love her, so she engages in having sex with him, in hopes that this is going to magically cause him to fall in love her, and wisp her away to the fairytale ending.
Great article.
searchingwithin´s last blog post..Writer’s Block
Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts April 21st, 2009, 11:22 am
I am so with you on this. Couldn’t agree more! Right on!
Tee aka The Diva’s Thoughts´s last blog post..The Senior Prom
lisaq April 22nd, 2009, 5:19 am
Thanks searchingwithin. You’re right. That’s what she’s thinking. Sadly, it doesn’t work that way.
Thanks Tee!