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Reader Question: How Do I Talk to Women? I’m Always Tripping Myself Up!
A reader asks:
To start off I’m a 25 year old male, and my name is J. I feel kind of stupid for asking these questions, but I tend to trip myself up most of the time when it comes to these parts. Ok here’s the questions, what are the best topics to talk about with women, and what is the best way/s to introduce oneself to a woman/women?
You can’t learn if you don’t ask. Sometimes I think people assume that we all already know the answers to the so-called simple questions when the truth of the matter is that you are most certainly not the only person on Earth wondering.
Topics Of Conversation
What topics to talk about really is kind of a two part question. When first meeting someone or on a first date, keep topics general and non-controversial. Here are some pretty basic dos and don’ts.
Dont’s
- Don’t talk politics.
- Don’t talk exes.
- Don’t talk finances.
- Don’t talk about deep, heavy topics.
- Don’t talk about extremely personal topics.
- Don’t get ahead of yourself. Talking about accompanying her and her girlfriends to Vegas in the fall on the first date is pushing it just a little.
Dos
- Do talk about movies and music and your interests.
- Do ask questions and respond approriately. Don’t ask what her favorite movie is and the trash it.
- Do discuss commonalitites. Both love travel? Talk about where you’ve been and where you’d still like to go.
- Do keep it light. Have fun. Relax and enjoy. Now is not the time to try to bring about world peace.
Introducing yourself
Introductions depend a great deal on where you are I think. In a museum, it’s completely appropriate to introduce yourself to someone who’s admiring a piece of art by offering your take on it. If you’re walking your day in the park, comment on the beautiful weather. In a club, ask her to dance or offer to buy her a drink. In a sports bar, comment on the game.
As long you aren’t following her around and/or stalking her, feel free to approach and strike up a conversation. Make eye contact across the room, smile, and, if you get a smile back, go for it. Just don’t be creepy by staring at her the whole evening or waiting outside the ladies room for her and all should be good.
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William H. Balzac March 3rd, 2009, 11:09 pm
I’m never too old to learn!
Your “Do’s & Don’ts” find me falling somewhat into the “Don’t” category. However, I’ve learned, over time, not to enter the “drama” of the moment into a conversation (particularly, on a first date.) Everyone has ups & downs…relaxing, and sharing general interests, fosters the building blocks of a successful date. To find commonality, with the person seated across from you is the first step.
If you’re looking to find a mate, a match, and a lover..be yourself, and be “in the moment.”
(That’s my advice to “J”)
`x~William.
William H. Balzac´s last blog post..When I think of her eyes, and what they take in…
lisaq March 4th, 2009, 6:34 am
It’s good advice Will. Nicely done!
Hero July 31st, 2010, 10:34 am
Great article.
My advice to J. is to focus on having fun.
Forget about everything else. Forget you want to get laid, forget how beautiful she is, forget you’re nervous. Having a good time is your only task while talking to her. Good luck.