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Online Dating: An Ample Source for Entertainment
Most of you who read regularly have probably picked up on the fact that my mom and I frequently write about the plethora of silly, stupid, and down right rude messages we receive through online dating websites and personal webpages such as MySpace. I can personally say that I would stay away from the topic except I always seem to have so much material to choose from. Some of the messages confuse me, some disgust me, some make me shake my head in disbelief, and others down right offend me.
I must admit that I find quite a bit of humor in dating sites. People’s headlines for their profile are cheesy and often ridiculous. The ones that say “Looking for Ms. Right” or “Hopeless Romantic” generally want to make me vomit, but aren’t necessarily an end all. I generally tend to be more drawn to the humorous and lighthearted headlines. Mine used to say, “life is short, play naked” now it says, “look pretty, play dirty.”
I really only have one online dating profile that I even pay attention to. I have ones on eHarmony, Chemistry, and Down to Earth but I very rarely give them a second thought, let alone check them regularly. I usually stick to Plenty of Fish, not because I am having tremendous success with the site but because it holds quite the entertainment value. I get a kick out of some of the messages I receive and out of the “about me” sections of a lot of profiles.
I first created the POF profile a few months back because my mom told me about the site. It allows you to set up message restrictions, limiting who can message you. I thought that sounded cool because it could help to filter out a lot of unwanted messages. I set my restrictions to the following: no one over 35, no smokers, no one who does drugs, must be male, must not be looking for an intimate encounter, and must live in the United States. I hesitated at first, thinking that maybe those limits were *too* restrictive. I was wrong.
I usually average somewhere between a half a dozen and a dozen messages a day, most of which I don’t feel merit a response. At one point, I was on 33 member’s favorite list but had only received a message from two of them. That, to me, seems pretty silly. How can I be your favorite if you have never even sent a message in an attempt to get to know me?
For a while, I was writing back and forth with a guy that made me smile bigger than I have in a while. Our messages were lengthy, detailed, and gave me something to look forward to every couple days. Then, shortly before the holidays, he quit writing for whatever reason. I quickly became disenchanted with the site and deleted my profile.
This past Friday, I found myself craving the entertainment that the dating site had previously provided me and I signed back up. It has been about 30 hours since I put up the new profile (which is very similar to my previous one) and thus far I have received 52 messages, 12 gifts, and have been put on 7 member’s favorite lists. While I didn’t find anyone thoroughly intriguing, my need for entertainment has surely been fulfilled.
One guy sent me this message:
fuzzy wuzzy wuz a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy wuznt fuzzy, wuz he
Really??? That is literally all the message said and I’m not really even sure how to respond to it even if I wanted to. No wonder this dude doesn’t have a girlfriend! He is frickin’ strange!
My profile states that I am “Non-Religious.” I selected that option because I don’t go to church, except when my mom makes me so she doesn’t have to listen to my grandma whine about us not going. I don’t pray, I don’t read the Bible, and I don’t have a relationship with God because I am not convinced that there is one. However, I don’t discuss any of this in detail in my profile. I figure my selected statement of “Non-Religous” speaks for itself. One guys sent me a message that simply said,
You need to go to church.
Apparently, to him, it is as simple as that. It made me laugh out loud. I don’t know if I laughed because I found it funny or ridiculous. Mildly curious as to what he meant, I replied and asked him why I should but have yet to get a response.
Another guy sent me a message that pissed me off a tid bit. It said:
Wow, only 5′? How do you compete with all those tall girls around? You must live in your high heels to try and improve your chances. Lucky for you I kinda like midgets.
P
It is taking every bit of strength and integrity I have not to write this guy back and tell him what I think. First of all, I don’t have to “compete” with tall girls. I am short, so effing what?! It just means that I can hide easier and I don’t have to duck for tree branches. Secondly, whoever said guys only like tall girls and that I should have to wear heels to “improve my chances?” And, thirdly, I am NOT a midget! Did this guy *actually* think he was being funny?? Fuck off, dude.
In my profile it says, “I like most music but listen mostly to country.” It really isn’t important to me to have a partner that likes country music to the degree I do, or even at all, but send me a message like this guy and I won’t talk to you- ever. He wrote:
Yeah, country is fucking gay but your fucking hot so we should hook up
Okay guys, I really don’t care if you like the same things I do or not but straight up bashing my interests is going to get you nowhere fast. And, I am hot, so what? It doesn’t mean I am going to hook up with your lame ass. Oh, and, grammar check. It’s “you’re” as in “you are” not “your.” Sheesh people.
Maybe someday I will meet someone really awesome through an online dating site and maybe I won’t. Either way, they entertain me immensely and give me some good stories to share. Have some good stories yourself? Share with us by leaving a comment or email us and we can put it on the site as a guest post. Happy surfing!
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Honey January 11th, 2009, 12:47 pm
Can you limit messages by number of characters? That was my first thought…it would be awesome if you could say something like, “no e-mails with under 50 words” or whatever. Then you’d know you were getting someone of substance.
Honey´s last blog post..Snowboarding, Sickness, and a Breakdown at the Grocery Store
kira January 11th, 2009, 7:32 pm
They totally should have such a restriction! But just because the site doesn’t have a filter like that doesn’t mean I can’t put something on my profile about only wanting messages that actually have some substance and thought!
lisaq January 12th, 2009, 6:16 am
Actually, POF does have a filter. It’s in mail settings. Yep, used it myself!
searchingwithin February 4th, 2009, 1:33 pm
This was just too funny. I just do not get the whole Online dating thing, at all for a lot of reasons that I won’t go into here…but…
A friend and I used to go on this one site just to check out the profiles and people that were on there. We also had many laugh filled nights with this form of amusement. It beats TV any day.
~Best Wishes~
searchingwithin´s last blog post..Difficulty in "Complimenting" a Woman
Gina March 26th, 2009, 2:35 pm
You did mention you were on the site for entertainment and you are getting what you are asking for… LOL
JAYNE July 21st, 2009, 10:14 am
awesome post! glad i found your site, it was on accident though =/ check mine out if you want. im still really working on it but it should be great soon