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Break Ups Ring In the New Year
According to the video, 4 out of 10 couples reassess in the new year and couples are twice as likely to break up in January and February.
Relationship expert Nicole Beland says it’s because in January we feel empowered to make changes. We think what do i want to change?
Her counterpart, Matt Titus,disagrees. He says that men think that they can do better, so they decided they’re going to make their break now. According to Titus, men think in the moment and, consequently, make bad decisions.
Beland counters that it’s age/stage of life based. That younger you are the more likely to make the break and start over. When you get older, you’re more inclined to try to work things out.
People are asking themselves these questions:
- do you share the same views?
- rut or unfulfilled?
And, again, the experts are not on the same page. What do you think? Is it a gender thing or any age/stage of life thing?
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auntiegwen January 9th, 2009, 6:44 am
I know that last New Year I knew I didn’t want to go on and so walked away. I’m sure the stress of forced jollity and trying to join 2 sets of children and 2 sets of holiday tradition with 2 new partners trying to be mummy and daddy to all had a significant impact on it. Maybe if we had been together longer we would have been more established as a group and would have made it through ?
I still think he was the wrong man for me but the stress of the season brought that up earlier for me.
auntiegwen´s last blog post..Meet The Weans… part deux
lisaq January 10th, 2009, 10:02 am
I think that makes a lot of sense Gwen. Lord knows the holidays are stressful enough without all of the other added stuff…
SINgleGIRL January 10th, 2009, 4:24 pm
For 3 yrs in a row now I have ended relationships within 2 wks of New Years Eve (one yr it was on NYE). For me it’s about not wanting to bring bad baggage into the New Year. It might be an arbitrary date, in one sense. But I figure it’s an opportunity to look myself, my relationship and the man I’m seeing square in the eye and say, “hey, this isn’t working for me and I deserve better”. Sometimes I think if the timing were different one of those relationships might have worked out, but all in all I don’t have any regrets.
SINgleGIRL´s last blog post..Red Flags (not in a good way)
lisaq January 11th, 2009, 10:42 am
Makes perfect sense SINgleGIRL. And, I think, that’s the way a lot of people are approaching it hence the large number of breakups this time of year.
Honey January 11th, 2009, 12:50 pm
My breakups have never correlated with the New Year but with major life changes…1) my mom dying, 2) my finishing therapy, 3) my graduation from college, 4) my moving across the country. So that’s my vote!
Honey´s last blog post..Snowboarding, Sickness, and a Breakdown at the Grocery Store
lisaq January 12th, 2009, 6:50 am
That makes just as much, if not more, sense Honey.
Infinity January 12th, 2009, 11:24 am
Well, for me, most of my relationships lasted through the new year, but what would happen is that the more we thought about making changes, the more our relationship declined. Most of my relationships wouldn’t last through March, with lots of arguing til that time. It’s something that does strike a nerve and if you don’t try to handle it whether by talking or making the actual decision, it’s going to fester and it’ll blow up when you least expect it. But I do agree with Honey, when she talked about life changes. It’s almost been a year since I left college and when my ex-girlfriend and I broke up, a lot of it just had to do with me leaving school and her not wanting to really say goodbye.
It happens…although, I do believe that age/stage of life does have something to do with you willingness to take chances and making changes. Younger people feel like they have less to lose by making changes so early in their lives.
Infinity´s last blog post..Learning About the Alpha Woman
lisaq January 13th, 2009, 6:18 am
Well said Infinity. You made a lot of really good points.