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Successful, Healthy Relationships Are About Balance
I’m so tired of hearing that sex is all about making babies or that the key to relationships is communication or that people are only attracted to one type of person. Did we all forget that relationships are not black and white? They are multi-faceted creatures almost with a life of their own. And when we focus on just one facet, we set ourselves, and our relationships, up for failure.
The Truth About Sex
The truth is that sex isn’t all about making babies. It’s about forging an emotional connection between people based on trust and intimacy.
Yes, it’s wonderful. Yes, it’s fun. And on it’s own it can be a break from reality, a stress reliever, and a way to cap off a night of partying. We should revel in it, enjoy it, enhance it and even experiment with it to find that which makes it an experience like no other.
But at its base, in a relationship, it forges a bond that goes deeper than any other. It’s a bond based on a connection that can transcend even communication. One touch, one kiss, one smoldering look from a lover can say things words never could.
The Truth About Communication
I’ve been guilty myself of saying the key to a successful relationship is communication, but the truth of the matter is that it’s just one essential ingredient.
You have to be able to communicate to be successful in any relationship whether it be at work, with family, or with your partner. That’s a gimme. If you can’t talk to each other, you leave too much to misinterpretation. You’re left guessing if you’re meeting the needs of your partner, if your teenager understands why she can’t be out at 1:00 a.m., or why your boss keeps passing you over for a promotion.
It’s important. No one’s arguing that. But it’s not the be all, end all of a relationship.
The Truth About Attraction
Sure, we all have preferences. Personally, I’m attracted to tall, athletic preferably younger men, but carried to an extreme that can be limiting. You have to be open enough to realize that person who is perfect for you may be shorter or less athletic or older than you think.
By completely excluding people from our ideal, we may just be excluding ourselves from the relationship we’ve been looking for. We may pass by a wonderful person who would compliment us perfectly. Think about that the next time you’re fillling out those check boxes on your dating profile. Maybe you’ll find yourself a little more open.
The Truth About Relationships
The truth is that successful, healthy relationships are about balance. Yes, I know. I’m a Libra and Libras are all about balance. Still, if you focus to much on simply procreating, your sex life and therefore your connection will suffer. Ask anyone who has had trouble getting pregnant and has had to set a sex schedule.
The same is true of communication. If you talk yourselves to death, will you really enhance your connection and your relationship? No. Life will just become one big damn discussion. You’ll miss out on experiencing each other because all you’ll get done is talking about experiencing each other.
If you find yourself with a shopping list of wants and needs in a partner, you’ll be shopping the rest of your life. Find a balance and realize that you’re likely not going to find every single thing you want in one person. It’s a lot to ask of someone isn’t it? To be everything you need?
Work to find a balance rather than looking for the one thing that will make your relationship successful. It may just make all the difference.
Thoughts?
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Brad K. November 17th, 2008, 10:33 am
Nicely said.
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SINgleGIRL November 17th, 2008, 10:50 am
AMEN!!! What a great way to start the week.
SINgleGIRL´s last blog post..I Know My Faults
Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts November 17th, 2008, 11:05 am
I am a firm believer in strong communications in a relationship but sometimes it can be overkill. There must be balance.
Tee aka The Diva’s Thoughts´s last blog post..Comcast Is The Devil
Infinity November 17th, 2008, 12:13 pm
This is a good description of what an ideal relationship can be made of. Unfortunately, we have your own ideals and goals for what we want our relationships to be and it gets in the way.
It’s never wrong to have an idea of what you want, but at the same time there needs to be understanding that you have to give and take to create that balance we are all looking for.
I really hope my first post here made sense.
Great post to start the week, like SINgleGIRL said.
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Cathouse Teri November 17th, 2008, 12:16 pm
I couldn’t say it any better.
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Honey November 17th, 2008, 12:42 pm
I started typing a long reply, but then realized it came down to one thing: I agree!
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auntiegwen November 17th, 2008, 6:02 pm
I cannot do any more talking, enough already, you’re so right x
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Angel Cuala November 18th, 2008, 2:28 am
A well-written post, indeed! I think balancing is what really marriage work out, as talking and listening is totally different form open communication.
By the way, me and my wife don’t have sex…we make love!
Angel Cuala´s last blog post..How to teach your Teenage Boys to respect Women
lisaq November 18th, 2008, 6:49 am
Thanks all! I appreciate it!
Yes, Infinity, it made sense. We get in our way sometimes.
Missy November 19th, 2008, 11:42 am
Balance? HA HA HA! I must admit the I seem to have become a little more tolerable in not eliminating men right away if they don’t exactly meet my ideals. But my motto is : More is Better!!
lisaq November 20th, 2008, 6:49 am
Haha…you go Missy!
saneandsingle November 22nd, 2008, 9:53 pm
I agree! Unfortunately that balance is sometimes so difficult to achieve!
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