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Why Have Sex?
Everyday, all across the world, people are shacking up, having sex, banging, screwing, fucking, making love, getting laid, or whatever you like to call it. People screw for pleasure, for love, for money, or for recreation. Some have sex because they were pressured, some because they were forced, and some because they are addicted. There are even those that have sex to procreate or consummate a marriage. I, for one, do it because it is a helluva lot of fun.
These days, folks that wait for marriage to have sex are seemingly in the minority. Those that wait often do so out of respect for their religion. Sex is meant to be shared with the person you marry- the ONE person you choose to spend the rest of your life with and start a family with. As BradK put it, “…the Church uses ‘consummation of marriage’ to bind the new couple, their offspring, and the magic and powers of womanhood to the Church’s use – don’t make the mistake of thinking that sex before the rites have the same meaning or power.”
So here is what confuses me…
If the purpose of sex is to consummate a marriage and the logic for this is because God said it to be so, then what about those that aren’t religious or are atheist? There are people that do not look to a “higher power” or a book or a worship service to seek answers or find guidelines to live by. They thrive on a personal set of ethics which drives why they do what they do and why they are who they are. Is sex then meaningless for them?
I don’t believe it to be meaningless. Sex takes on whatever meaning we, as individuals, want it to. We each choose to have sex for different reasons and, given that the decision is consensual between all parties, those reasons are for no one else to judge. After all, if there is a God, isn’t judgment reserved for him anyhow?
Back to consummating a marriage. If the purpose of sex is to consummate a marriage, then what about those who choose not to ever tie the not? Are they not entitled to sex? What about the folks who have been married multiple times? Does the meaning and “power” of sex diminish for them after time?
As legitimate as these questions are, they should be considered rhetorical. Everyone is “entitled” to have sex for whatever reason *they* choose- again, assuming it is consensual among all parties involved. Believing that marriage is the inevitable and final stage for all relationships can be equated to ignorance. Marriage is not a one-sized fits all suit.
Moving on to starting a family…
Not everyone is out to have a baby. I am one of those people. I am a firm believer in birth control and would like to shake the hand of whoever first thought of the concept. I have no plans in my immediate or near future to have a baby at all. If at some point I do decide to have children, adoption will be of high consideration for me.
So then, if not to start a family, why have sex? If you’ll remember back to my opening statement, I said because it is a helluva lot of fun! That’s not to say I run around having sex with anything that has the right parts, I am safe about it and get tested regularly. I do not think having sex before marriage or for recreational purposes is wrong and no one will ever convince me otherwise.
So how about the folks that are divorced and done having babies? Is a bedroom romp then an abomination? Hell no! Just because we have been through a few stages in life does not mean that it is time to shrivel up and quit living. Enjoy your sex drive for as long as it will allow you to- or even longer thanks to Viagra. 
When to have sex, where to have sex, why to have sex, and whom to have sex with are all personal choices that cannot be rightfully dictated or judged by someone else.
For all those that make the decision not to get married and/or not to have babies, happy humping!
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Jaime November 13th, 2008, 10:44 am
Well put!
Jaime´s last blog post..Boobs, Breakfast, And Not A Real Porno
Honey November 13th, 2008, 12:14 pm
Religion is on the decline, though it’s tough to tell because of the sectarian violence in the middle east. Most young people don’t affiliate with a particular religion, or don’t attend church even if they do. This trend will become even more dramatic in the next generation, and I think that’s a good thing. I’m an atheist and so are most of my friends, but I think that even if there *were* a god, that god would *want* us to be atheist because it’s the only way we can fully take responsibility for ourselves as a race, good and bad, and work to improve the world.
I know a woman in her 40s, normal sex drive, who married a man only to find he believed sex was only for procreation. Anytime she articulated her sexual desires (and they weren’t getting ready to have a kid, which face it is a majority of the time) he used it as an opportunity to emotionally abuse her, say that she was unclean in the eyes of god, a sinner, etc. etc. She eventually divorced him but it took her SO LONG to recover and be able to express herself sexually in the next relationship. A shame.
Sex has been around WAY longer than Christianity or any of the other major organized religions today. It improves immune function, lowers blood pressure, relieves headaches, solidifies relationships, and provides a host of other beneficial effects that have nothing whatsoever to do with religion. So I agree with you, Kira–if having sex in the context of religion floats your boat, more power to you. If you have other reasons, they’re just as valid as long as everyone consents and no one’s getting hurt. Well, maybe a little spanking…
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dadshouse November 14th, 2008, 1:59 pm
Sex is awesome. I hope to keep having it till my last dieing breath. And I intend to live a loooong time!
dadshouse´s last blog post..Somebody to Love