Comments on: Reader Question: What Are the Rules of a Break? http://20-forty.com/2008/11/10/reader-question-what-are-the-rules-of-a-break/ Because love isn't always 20/20! Fri, 12 Mar 2010 23:24:48 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Cathouse Teri http://20-forty.com/2008/11/10/reader-question-what-are-the-rules-of-a-break/comment-page-1/#comment-4549 Cathouse Teri Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:20:00 +0000 http://20-forty.com/?p=821#comment-4549 You're right. Rules are for school. This "break" idea, to me, is just idiotic and contrary to the very foundation of a trusting relationship. It's just someone being too cowardly to be honest with themselves and the other person. (Which I believe is what dadshouse said, too.) If one person (or both) in the relationship feel like they are not sure this is what they want, they should just say so. They break up. Move on. And then later, if that person decides he/she was wrong and wants to get back together, they just have to take the chance that the other person is still available and also that they are willing to try it again. Would be hard to rebuild the trust, though. <abbr><em>Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..<a href="http://cathouseteri.blogspot.com/2008/11/love-lord-above-now-youre-tryin-to.html" rel="nofollow">Love? LORD ABOVE!! Now You're Tryin' To Trick Me In Love!</a></abbr></em> You’re right. Rules are for school.

This “break” idea, to me, is just idiotic and contrary to the very foundation of a trusting relationship. It’s just someone being too cowardly to be honest with themselves and the other person. (Which I believe is what dadshouse said, too.)

If one person (or both) in the relationship feel like they are not sure this is what they want, they should just say so. They break up. Move on. And then later, if that person decides he/she was wrong and wants to get back together, they just have to take the chance that the other person is still available and also that they are willing to try it again. Would be hard to rebuild the trust, though.

Cathouse Teri´s last blog post..Love? LORD ABOVE!! Now You’re Tryin’ To Trick Me In Love!

]]> By: lisaq http://20-forty.com/2008/11/10/reader-question-what-are-the-rules-of-a-break/comment-page-1/#comment-4544 lisaq Wed, 12 Nov 2008 12:07:40 +0000 http://20-forty.com/?p=821#comment-4544 I think Honey has nailed the spirit behind the break. The problem is that it's not often viewed that way. Guys, you're right....rules suck. Don't know what's up with your script error Bobby. That's weird. I think Honey has nailed the spirit behind the break. The problem is that it’s not often viewed that way. Guys, you’re right….rules suck.

Don’t know what’s up with your script error Bobby. That’s weird.

]]> By: dadshouse http://20-forty.com/2008/11/10/reader-question-what-are-the-rules-of-a-break/comment-page-1/#comment-4522 dadshouse Tue, 11 Nov 2008 21:37:57 +0000 http://20-forty.com/?p=821#comment-4522 I think if you reach a point where you feel you need a break, you're just fooling yourselves - you probably need to break up, but are too chicken! I agree with lisaq, don't follow any rules, just follow your own instincts and intuition. I think if you reach a point where you feel you need a break, you’re just fooling yourselves – you probably need to break up, but are too chicken!

I agree with lisaq, don’t follow any rules, just follow your own instincts and intuition.

]]> By: bobby http://20-forty.com/2008/11/10/reader-question-what-are-the-rules-of-a-break/comment-page-1/#comment-4511 bobby Tue, 11 Nov 2008 15:33:14 +0000 http://20-forty.com/?p=821#comment-4511 "Ugh! I hate talk of rules in dating period. Seriously, why do there have to be rules? You do what feels right in the situation." This should be made into a plaque! lol I have a little trick I use in most relational matters that I'd like to share here with you all: communicate with each other! we all like different flavors and need to decide which flavor is right for us :) p.s. I'm having trouble with a script while loading the 20-forty page. I Don't have that problem with any other blog? I couldn't twitter my way over here yesterday because a script wouldn't let me. <abbr><em>bobby´s last blog post..<a href="http://bobbyboys.blogspot.com/2008/11/helping-us-to-help-ourselves.html" rel="nofollow">Helping us to help ourselves.</a></abbr></em> “Ugh! I hate talk of rules in dating period. Seriously, why do there have to be rules? You do what feels right in the situation.”

This should be made into a plaque! lol

I have a little trick I use in most relational matters that I’d like to share here with you all: communicate with each other!

we all like different flavors and need to decide which flavor is right for us :)

p.s. I’m having trouble with a script while loading the 20-forty page. I Don’t have that problem with any other blog? I couldn’t twitter my way over here yesterday because a script wouldn’t let me.

bobby´s last blog post..Helping us to help ourselves.

]]> By: SINgleGIRL http://20-forty.com/2008/11/10/reader-question-what-are-the-rules-of-a-break/comment-page-1/#comment-4509 SINgleGIRL Tue, 11 Nov 2008 14:43:32 +0000 http://20-forty.com/?p=821#comment-4509 I think 'a break' is one of those dangerously vague phrases like 'open relationship'. It means what you want it to mean and it can work as long as both partners wants the same thing. It won't work if they say, "we're on a break" and not explicit about what that means for them (same with open relationships, btw). <abbr><em>SINgleGIRL´s last blog post..<a href="http://sex-lies-dating.blogspot.com/2008/11/dysfunction-junction.html" rel="nofollow">Dysfunction Junction</a></abbr></em> I think ‘a break’ is one of those dangerously vague phrases like ‘open relationship’. It means what you want it to mean and it can work as long as both partners wants the same thing. It won’t work if they say, “we’re on a break” and not explicit about what that means for them (same with open relationships, btw).

SINgleGIRL´s last blog post..Dysfunction Junction

]]> By: Honey http://20-forty.com/2008/11/10/reader-question-what-are-the-rules-of-a-break/comment-page-1/#comment-4475 Honey Mon, 10 Nov 2008 18:16:17 +0000 http://20-forty.com/?p=821#comment-4475 Well I think that a break is something that happens when a relationship is in trouble, and the purpose of the break is to decide whether those issues can be resolved or whether the couple needs to break up completely. The idea of dating while on a break sounds horrible - to me the purpose of a break is to create a space where both people have the room to think through the problems/issues and come to a decision about whether they're solvable - without the other person's pressure or interference. It also gives you a chance to put your argument together without being overwhelmed by emotion. Obviously dating other people while on a break is *more* chance to disturb the reflection process with emotions and is inappropriate - but I guess those are just my rules?! Well I think that a break is something that happens when a relationship is in trouble, and the purpose of the break is to decide whether those issues can be resolved or whether the couple needs to break up completely. The idea of dating while on a break sounds horrible – to me the purpose of a break is to create a space where both people have the room to think through the problems/issues and come to a decision about whether they’re solvable – without the other person’s pressure or interference. It also gives you a chance to put your argument together without being overwhelmed by emotion. Obviously dating other people while on a break is *more* chance to disturb the reflection process with emotions and is inappropriate – but I guess those are just my rules?!

]]> By: Brad K. http://20-forty.com/2008/11/10/reader-question-what-are-the-rules-of-a-break/comment-page-1/#comment-4468 Brad K. Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:03:27 +0000 http://20-forty.com/?p=821#comment-4468 Is life a series of sex adventures, or is a relationship a means to build a family/LTR? I figure you either have a relationship with trust, respect for yourself and your partner, discipline, and emotional ties to sustain me. A break just seems to be a way to manipulate your partner - or create a sordid plot line on TV. I don't get it. Why not sort out the issues - or leave? <abbr><em>Brad K.´s last blog post..<a href="http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2008/11/03/br-love-slip-sliding-away/" rel="nofollow">BR: Love slip-sliding away</a></abbr></em> Is life a series of sex adventures, or is a relationship a means to build a family/LTR? I figure you either have a relationship with trust, respect for yourself and your partner, discipline, and emotional ties to sustain me. A break just seems to be a way to manipulate your partner – or create a sordid plot line on TV.

I don’t get it. Why not sort out the issues – or leave?

Brad K.´s last blog post..BR: Love slip-sliding away

]]> By: It’s About Making Babies! » Blog Archive » 2F: Dating, vs. Relationship goals http://20-forty.com/2008/11/10/reader-question-what-are-the-rules-of-a-break/comment-page-1/#comment-4467 It’s About Making Babies! » Blog Archive » 2F: Dating, vs. Relationship goals Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:53:32 +0000 http://20-forty.com/?p=821#comment-4467 [...] answers a question on 20-Forty.com, about taking a ‘break’ during a relationship. And LisaQ makes a statement that caught my (rambling) attention. Ugh! I hate talk of rules in [...] [...] answers a question on 20-Forty.com, about taking a ‘break’ during a relationship. And LisaQ makes a statement that caught my (rambling) attention. Ugh! I hate talk of rules in [...]

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