Creepers: The Common Bar Predator
Creepers are all around us. Lurking on the sidelines, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting young women. Bars, of course, are the most common stomping ground for creepers. There are plenty of hot, young women for their preying pleasure. What these creepers don’t realize is most of these women would rather poke their eyes out with a pool cue than talk to them.
Sadly for us girls, most creepers don’t even realize they are creepy.
Types of Creepers
Straight Up Creeper
You know the guy. He exudes creepiness. He is large with horridly unkept facial hair, teeth that have probably never been brushed, and smells like he just stepped out of an onion bath. Just thinking about a creeper like this is enough to give any girl the heeby jeebies.
As if by some form of creeper magic, they appear when you least expect it, catching you off guard and trapping you. He strikes up a conversation, all the while slurring his words and staring at your chest. Next thing you know, his hand moves to your ass. You reach to your friend for help and she whisks you away to the bathroom, most likely saving your life.
“Nice Guy” Creeper
This guy is generally very unfortunate looking but at least looks clean and disease free. He is usually in business casual attire with a Blackberry clipped to his pleated khakis. He walks up with friend because he generally doesn’t have the balls to talk to you without his wingman.
He strikes up an awkward conversation asking you what your favorite color is and constantly telling you how pretty your ears are. Of course he is nice, making you feel bad enough that you don’t tell him what a big bag of douche you really think he is. Eventually he says he has to bail because he has a huge work meeting in the morning but instead of quietly leaving, he asks for your number. Feeling bad for the dude, you give him the digits to the local weather line and tell him your name is Angelina.
Creeper in Disguise
You’ve been watching him play pool. His arm muscles are perfectly sculpted and his ass couldn’t be sexier. Finally your eyes connect and he makes his way to you, only stopping you grab you a refill from the bar. His smile is flawless and his eyes are completely dreamy. You talk about everything from music to food to sports and, what’s more, the conversation is wildly entertaining. Before parting ways, you give him your number, the real one.
He calls the next day to say how nice it was to meet you and can’t wait to see you again. Not even five minutes later, he texts to tell you that he can’t stop thinking about you. Another text comes about 7 minutes and 32 seconds later telling you how excited he is to see you again and how pretty you are. Next thing you know you have a voicemail (because you ignored the call) from him telling you he misses you. He texts and calls a total of 26 times in the next two hours. Eventually, you have to block his number. What a creeper!
How To Tell If You Are a Creeper
When you approach a girl, pay attention to her body language. If she takes a step back and grabs her friends arm, she thinks you are a creeper. If she constantly watches the tv even though all that is on is the Emergency Alert Test, she thinks you are a creeper. If she keeps her answers to yes or no, even if the questions you are asking aren’t yes or no questions, she thinks you are a creeper. If she constantly sips her empty drink and shifts her stare to her friends, she thinks you are a creeper. If she suddenly bolts because she has to pee, right in the middle of your boring sentence, she thinks you are a creeper. If she doesn’t answer after you’ve called or text 274 times in a row, she think you are a creeper. Moral of the story? LAY OFF, YOU’RE A CREEPER!
Attention Ladies! How To Ward Off a Creeper
Creepers can be a pain to deal with, so let’s talk about a few ways to get out of a creepy situation.
Be direct. If you aren’t interested, tell him. No one said you have to be rude about it but, as the saying goes, “honesty is the best policy.” Let him know that you are just out for a fun night with the girls and, while you are flattered by his approach, you would prefer to get back to your friends.
If being direct doesn’t work, tell him you have a boyfriend/fiance/husband. Ok so this goes against the whole “honesty is the best policy” thing but drastic times call for drastic measures. Besides, this is a little white lie that won’t hurt anyone and will certainly help your current sitution. As a side note: anytime someone that you are not interested in and/or unattracted to asks if you have a boyfriend, the answer is ALWAYS yes. This puts a stop to things before they start.
If neither of the above solutions work, tell him you have a major bladder infection and have to get to the bathroom ASAP. Grab your friend(s) and bolt. Or you could resort to telling him that you are a lesbian (although this could turn him on and worsen the situation). Hey, if he doesn’t get it by now, he doesn’t deserve the truth.
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About This Post
Kira, Have you tried a simple, “No.”, no emphasis, no repetition, just a simple, “No.” Maybe if he is polite, a “No, thank you.” No explanation.
And break eye contact.
If you can’t say “no” and mean it, why risk yourself hanging out where the assumption is a ‘connection’ is for a sex romp?
Brad K.´s last blog post..Dating Fatigue - To LisaQ
When I was dating on Match and found myself concluding that someone was not a keeper, I would simply say, “I appreciate you’re interest, but I’m not interested” the next time they contacted me.
At a club, if a creeper offered to buy me a drink or asked me to dance, I would do as Brad says and simply say, “No.” The thing about these creepers is that as soon as you give them a “reason,” they think you are bargaining with them, and that if they can come up with something that trumps or overcomes your “reason,” you will acquiesce to whatever they want. Unfortunately, women who feel bad for being dishonest (which they are, even if they’re not lying) often fall for this.
Just say no!
Honey´s last blog post..He Ripped My Clothes Off!
Ugh. You’re interest. What was I thinking?! YOUR interest, is what I meant…
Honey´s last blog post..He Ripped My Clothes Off!
[...] you a creeper? Kira explains the different kinds of creepers that roam around [...]