Decoding Manspeak

We’ve discussed mixed signals from men before. Daniel Maurer’s new book Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk attempts to decode those signals.

Maurer has coined the term malienation. This is when a guy doesn’t have the guts to break up with you, they’ll alienate you with aggressively male behavior such as calling you dude.

Other signs of malienation:

  1. He calls your friends hot.
  2. He uses sports terms in the bedroom.

Daniel Holloway and Dorothy Robinson, co authors of  Dating Makes You Want to Die: (But You Have to Do It Anyway), give you three signs you should walk away:

  1. When he tells you he’s not a one woman guy.
  2. When he’s overtly sexual.
  3. When he refers to his mother as a curse word.

They also give these lies you should never believe:

  1. “I’ll call you.”
  2. “I said that? I must have been drinking.”
  3. I’m busy that weekend. My cousin is coming to town.”

Apparently, it’s all about avoiding conflict.

Thoughts? I’d love to hear from the guys on this one. What other lies or forms of malienation should we watch out for?

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Posted by lisaq on Thursday, October 23rd, 2008 and is filed under Books, Featured, Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

5 Responses to “Decoding Manspeak”

  1. Brad K. October 23rd, 2008, 8:18 am

    Somehow this feels like an oversimplification. It seems like this kind of bad behavior is more about him losing respect for you, about his lack of discipline, and rebelling against courteous behavior or other obligations to be a responsible adult and partner. Just an avalanche of bad habits – that you let him get away with.

    Malienation may be the cause of ending the relationship, rather than his signal.

    Brad K.´s last blog post..DB: Why the US sucks at math ed.

  2. lisaq October 24th, 2008, 8:36 am

    I agree BradK. I may have to read the books to see if it’s oversimplified just for the sake of the news story.

  3. bobby October 24th, 2008, 10:43 am

    I don’t think one size fits all. I mean ANY time a guy says he’ll call you, it’s a lie? I agree with Brad K on this one.

    bobby´s last blog post..Cohabitation, is it right for you?

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