But Will I Even Like You When I’m Sober?

A friend of mine is one of those vivacious, bold, in your face kind of women. She is fun and outspoken. You know, one of those people who’s never met a stranger. And, I admit, there are days when I wish I were just a little more like her. Hard as it may be to believe, I’ve met plenty of strangers. Though I’m not the kind of girl who’s afraid to speak her mind, approaching and talking to people I don’t know is not something I’m always good at or comfortable with. Not so with my friend.

As much as I would like to be more like her, there are times when I’d really rather she’d learn to back off and keep her mouth shut. You see, she has made her personal mission to introduce her single friends to any Tom, Dick, and Harry in the club. Now, that in itself isn’t so bad. It’s her follow up that is enough to make me change my phone number.

After the intros are made, girlfriend insists that you and the lucky guy trade numbers. She stands there and insists until it’s done. Now, maybe you’re thinking that she saves me a lot of trouble and effort. But, well, not so much. See, her matches aren’t always on target. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been standing there trying to figure my way out of this awkward situation. I mean seriously, what do you say? Sorry, my friend is mistaken in thinking I’d be attracted to you and would want to see you again? Not such an easy task.

More than once I’ve ended up with numbers in my phone that make me want to throw the damn thing in the toilet! The truth of the matter is this. She and I have very different tastes. Not one guy that she has ‘found’ for me is one I’d ever want to see again. But there’s more to it than that.

I go to the club to socialize, to drink, and to dance. I’m there to have a good time not to meet the man of my dreams. Because honestly, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to meet him while under the influence of alcohol. Really. I mean think about it for a minute. You’ve got your groove on, you’re kicking back, knocking back some cold ones. The club is hot and you’ve been dancing. You knock back some more cold ones. Got keep yourself cooled off right? Right. Except that we all know what happens.

Yes, beer goggles, but even more than that is that whole thing about alcohol impairing our judgment. The more we drink, the more impaired it becomes. Suddenly, you’re dirty dancing with some dude you wouldn’t be caught dead talking to in broad daylight. I know at least some of you know what I’m talking about here. You’ve woken up after a long night at the club with some guy you can’t even imagine acknowledging let alone sleeping with. And yet, there you are.

So even if my girl introduces me and I have more in me than I should and I think maybe, just maybe, this guy might be someone I’d like to see again, odds are I’m wrong. Sure he might be cute and funny now, but what about when you’re sober? Will you even be able to look at him then?

Bars are not the place to go to meet the man of your dreams. Period.

Thoughts?

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Posted by lisaq on Friday, October 17th, 2008 and is filed under Featured, Personal Stories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

13 Responses to “But Will I Even Like You When I’m Sober?”

Honey October 17th, 2008, 10:58 am

I’ve met some nice guys at clubs and bars, but no one who had long-term potential for ME. Amen, Lisaq!

Honey´s last blog post..Defining Poverty
craze October 17th, 2008, 3:35 pm

I tell ya what my beer goggles are also rose colored. They have never proved to be right.

craze´s last blog post..Celebrate the women who have made a difference
lisaq October 18th, 2008, 8:54 am

Yep, Honey, it’s the same for me. Some nice guys, but no one I’d want to keep around on a long term basis.

Haha Craze! Mine too. All the more reason to be careful!
saneandsingle October 18th, 2008, 7:09 pm

I would have to say that the club isn’t the place to look for Mr. Right…maybe Mr. Right Now! Although, I did meet my ex-fiance in a club. But look how that turned out, right? LOL

saneandsingle´s last blog post..Good Morning
SINgleGIRL October 19th, 2008, 8:34 am

I picked up a fuckbuddy or two in bars, back in my twenties, but I honestly can’t imagine DATING anyone I’ve met in a bar in the last 5 years. No, I just couldn’t imagine it.

SINgleGIRL´s last blog post..Back to Square One
Sarah October 19th, 2008, 11:03 pm

Sane, I actually used the line, “I’m not looking for Mr. Right. I’m looking for Mr. Right Now,” to pick up a guy at my favorite bar. Needless to say he was not dating material or someone I’d even hang out with on a casual basis.
Lisa, I’m with you on not meeting mate-worthy men in bars. I think we feel safe at bars because alcohol masks our inhibitions thus making us more appealing to the opposite sex. As someone who has spent the day with a one night stand, they are not nearly as cute or intelligent or honorable the next day.
lisaq October 20th, 2008, 5:17 am

I hear that sane and single. I met one of my ex husbands in a club. Turned out he was an alcoholic. Go figure.

Yeah, me either SINgleGIRL. Not even.

Exactly Sarah. Not even close.
Brad K. October 20th, 2008, 9:19 pm

LisaQ,How about “I gotta powder my nose. See ya.” Larry the Cable Guy’s line from “Witless Protection” might deter your friend, “I gotta squeeze out a Grumpy.”

Or even better, “No,” or “Maybe later.”

I mean, if your friends won’t let you say “No,” and respect your answer – they can’t learn any younger. (As my Mom told me.)
lisaq October 21st, 2008, 5:18 am

Thanks for the ‘out’ BradK. I’ll keep that in mind for the next girls night out.
this cheeky goddess October 21st, 2008, 4:10 pm

maybe this says something about the people I hang around… but so many of the couples I know or couples that used-to-be had met up in clubs

there’s a lot to be said for dutch courage!

I actually find it a little disturbing how the more drunk I am, the more likely I am to meet guys – even if it’s just to chat to, I wonder if it’s because I unashamedly approach them (definitely sometimes!), or I just come across as more approachable

my first love – and the longest relationship I’ve had (4+ years) all started in a favourite club we both used to hang out at

this cheeky goddess´s last blog post..Here’s to me, Mrs. Robinson…
lisaq October 22nd, 2008, 5:20 am

I do agree that I am definitely bolder cheeky goddess. I’m also much less discriminating in my tastes! I sure it does work out for some.