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Thou Shalt Not Smother
Dear Smothery, Stalker Type Dude,
With regret, I’m writing to tell you that you have failed the bullshit test. You remember, I told you that I needed a man in my life who could put up with my bullshit and well, sadly, that man is not you. It was sheer coincidence that the bullshit test came so quickly but, honestly, that is just how these things sometimes work out.
See, when you text and say “Wat a day!” and I agree telling you I need sleep and maybe some tequila, that’s a sure sign that there is bullshit dead ahead. The best course of action would have been to say something like, “Get some rest and I’ll talk to you later.” That’s really Bullshit 101. But no. You text back a short time later and ask if I’m coming out to your house that night. Huh? This is not Jump Into a Relationship 101. It’s Bullshit 101.
Then, you take the ‘what not to do’ course of action by texting later in the evening asking if I’m there. When I reply kinda, but my ass is kicked and I’m heading to bed soon, you should really back off. Pushing at that particular point in time is a guaranteed shoot yourself in the foot move.
But what do you do? You text back and ask if I’d like “2 phone.” No dude. Sleep. Sleep is what I need. That would be why I said I was heading to bed. Now I have to repeat myself? Apparently, your reading skills are as lacking as your grammar and writing skills.
Again, I’m heading to bed means I’m heading to bed. It does not, even translated, mean go ahead and call anyway…twice. And, whatever the hell you do, do not text again after the 2nd phone call attempt. I mean really. Are you trying to piss me off or are you that ridiculously clueless?
I hope this has helped clear up any confusion. If you have further questions, please refer to the Bullshit 101 handbook. More is covered in the “Defining Bullshit,” “No Does Not Mean Yes” and “Are You Really That Stupid?” chapters.
Sincerely,
GWNPFYSB (Girl With No Patience For Your Stalkerish Behavior)
P.S.
For future reference you should probably know that your ridiculous texting shorthand just makes you look illiterate and stupid. Got dat?
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Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts September 19th, 2008, 8:27 am
Ok, you had me cracking up! Some men are totally clueless.
Tee aka The Diva’s Thoughtss last blog post..My Husband Can Father Your Child
SinfullyAnon September 19th, 2008, 9:20 am
I’m the kind of guy who gets very little sleep,
so I can be very supportive of anyone who gets
as much as possible. [FYI: the effects of sleep deprivation,
can be very harmful to a person's over-all mental health~~ie:
"Why does everything have a rainbow around it??." Over time, the
sleep deprived, begins losing the ability to make good choices, concentration is shot to hell, and coffee becomes the elixir of
the God's!]
….Then again, stalking is really bad too.
Darn it! I need some sleep.
I’ve forgotten my point here!
I don’t text, so we’ll talk later,k??
~x~SinfullyAnon.
craze September 19th, 2008, 10:31 am
OMG I have so dated him.. actually a few of them. I’m over that!
crazes last blog post..Protect Our Children
auntiegwen September 20th, 2008, 3:00 am
I find it so hard to say, goodbye and thanks but this isn’t working for me,
I must confess…
my name is auntiegwen and I am an avoider.
Yep, your auntie will just switch off her phone and avoid.
auntiegwens last blog post..Because Tom Foolery asked me to…
Meghan September 20th, 2008, 10:40 am
Why are you dating my ex boyfriends?
Some men shouldn’t be allowed a proper calling plan!
saneandsingle September 20th, 2008, 12:14 pm
Teehee! Thanks for the laugh! It really should be common sense, huh? But it isn’t for some, I guess!
lisaq September 20th, 2008, 5:07 pm
Totally Tee, totally. Believe it or not he actually called the next morning as I was on my way out the door to go to work and texted again today. Good Lord!
Haha Sinfully! You crack me up!
Me too Craze! Completely done-zo!
Ummmm…I’m in avoidance mode right now Gwen. I’m right there with you girl.
Haha Meghan! Could you send pictures and short bios so I know better next time please? This has got to stop! hehe…
Any time sane and single. Yes, it really should be, but apparently not everyone comes equipped with common sense!
lisaqs last blog post..Thou Shalt Not Smother
Carol September 21st, 2008, 4:47 pm
I know similar men. I say, “its best to call after nine pm, after my kids are in bed.”
If they call once, I remind them. If they do it twice, I let them know I take it as a sign they aren’t listening to what I want or need. A man who can’t exercise common sense is NEVER going to be a match for me.
Yes, I’ve been called a bitch for it. But, I have also had others realize that it is simply the necessity of putting my six and seven year old kids ahead of anything else. If they don’t get that…they will never get me.
lisaq September 22nd, 2008, 5:17 am
Exactly Carol. It’s really not that hard is it? Sheesh!
lisaqs last blog post..Not Today…