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Sex Education
At some point or another, most of us went through some form of sex education. For some of us it was sitting in a classroom watching graphic movies of a what happens to a woman’s vagina when she gives birth; for others it was our parents shoving a book about the “birds and the bees” in our faces and saying “read this.” Now we have the option of turning our televisions to ABC Family and watching The Secret Life of an American Teenager in order to gain a bit of knowledge.
Sex education has always been a topic of controversy and always will be. There are many that believe that if we tell young people about it, it will makes them want to do it. The reality of the situation is that many teenagers are having sex, no matter how far in denial their parents are. So if they are doing it anyway, why not educate them on safe methods?
If our newest VP candidate, Sarah Palin, had her way, we would teach abstinence-only. MSNBC reports that when asked “will you support funding for abstinence-until-marriage education instead of for explicit sex-education programs, school-based clinics, and the distribution of contraceptives in schools?” Palin replied, “Yes, the explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support.” MSNBC later reported that Republican presidential candidate, John McCain, supports abstinence-only education as well.
While abstinence-only may be the ideal when it comes to teens and sex, it isn’t reality. They ARE having sex, therefore they MUST be educated on the consequences of unsafe, unprotected sex. This is not to say that we must have explicit videos that border on pornography and are reminiscent of The Girl Next Door style of sex education, but we need to make the information available.
As far as the content of the education provided in schools, it should be geared more toward abstinence, but that is not to say that we need to leave out protection methods and information on consequences for those that are sexually active. Handing out condoms in schools is a bit extreme, I even had one class where they had us practice on bananas, but information on how to obtain birth control should be given; for instance, letting students know that the local SRS and health departments often have free contraceptives.
Teens also need to know the consequences of not using contraceptives. Most seem to only think of pregnancy, but STD’s are even worse. They need to know what is out there in order to be able to avoid it. Making teens aware of places they can go should they be unfortunate enough to get pregnant or contract an STD is also a must. Young people have it rough enough without having to worry about not having somewhere to turn if they land in a tight spot.
I don’t have children of my own so I spoke with a co-worker who has four children. Seeing as how she had her first daughter when she was 15 and her daughter is now of the puberty age, she was a perfect candidate to provide insights on sex education. C said that she began having sex because everyone else was doing it and because she was uneducated as to the consequences of doing so. She agrees, that we need to be teaching abstinence as well as safe sex practices. She had a good point in saying “parents want to think it [teens having sex and/or getting pregnant] won’t happen but it can. We need to teach all available options. The abstinence-only view is unrealistic in this day.”
The bottom line is that a substantial number of teens are having sex. To pretend otherwise is ignorant. It is our duty as parents and teachers to ensure that they are educated about consquences and safe practices for doing so. Abstinence-only teaching is way too idealistic to be effective in this day and age.
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Honey September 12th, 2008, 11:37 am
The schools are the place where comprehensive sex education needs to happen, since there is no way to ensure reaching people once they’ve graduated high school and many parents aren’t well informed enough to present their children with all this information.
I’m not opposed to handing out condoms in school; I actually think that we should also make the pill (or any of its equivalents) mandatory until you apply for a license to have a child. But then, we all read that post!
Brad K. September 12th, 2008, 4:03 pm
Kira,
I chose a slightly different perspective: Decide, as a community, why people of any age should have sex.
For me the answer is pretty simple. Sex is for making babies. All the ‘fashion’, beer, and car commercials aside, people get hurt quite often when they aren’t focused on making a family and raising children.
Casual sex is most often casual dating, even if one or both participants want a deeper relationship, they seldom make the transition.
If your goal as a couple is to make a baby, you get a solid, defined payoff – you know when to celebrate, and can decide to rest on your laurels or try again. When your goal is to bang the prettiest girl, the hunkiest guy, or a different bed every night of the week (month?), those goals are unattainable – and distract one from settling down. When your goal is to find ‘the best’ sex partner, you have to keep looking – and you don’t notice the bum is manipulative, deceptive, and disrespectful until you are already invested in the mechanics of sharing a housing unit. A housing unit that will never grow into a home.
I don’t think that making a baby is the only time to engage in sexual intercourse. But making a baby as your goal, lets you pick a worthwhile partner. Umm, that is if that is the goal for both of you. No one likes surprises.
Before the convention, I had read that Palin was anti-abortion, but favored contraception. I guess she just doesn’t want to create an enticing sexual environment. It seems kind of a thin line to me, and I firmly believe pregnant women sometimes face much greater risks and challenges than abortion. In a time when there are no easy answers, it seems arrogant to take any of the choices away from those at risk.
Brad K.s last blog post..Free book from Oprah: Why Men Cheat – a few hours left
lisaq September 12th, 2008, 6:21 pm
I’m right with you Kira and also with you Honey. BradK, I do have some issues with the idea of sex for the sole purpose of making babies and with your implication that either we’re having sex for that purpose or for the purpose of casual sex. First, it’s impractical to think that every couple should be having sex just to make babies. One couple may choose not to have babies like Honey and her BF (and I still think their reasons are very good ones), another may not be able to have children for medical reasons and still others of us are past our child bearing prime. Even if divorce were taken out of the equation there are people who are dating later in life due to death of a spouse or just because they haven’t yet found their mate.
As for the other, I, for example, am dating to find a life partner. I am not into casual sex. I don’t want casual sex and am not into dating as a numbers game. Your comment implies that it’s an either or situation and it’s not IMO. I’m looking for a long term monogamous relationship…a man to spend my life with…not to make babies with. I think you have to realize that everything is not black and white. There are lots of gray areas. It’s just not always so cut and dried.
lisaqs last blog post..Sex Education
king1876 September 12th, 2008, 7:37 pm
hey i like this its similar to mines.
http://king1876.wordpress.com/
king1876s last blog post..THE NEW I POD NANO
craze September 15th, 2008, 11:50 am
The bottom line is that a substantial number of teens are having sex. To pretend otherwise is ignorant. It is our duty as parents and teachers to ensure that they are educated about consquences and safe practices for doing so. Abstinence-only teaching is way too idealistic to be effective in this day and age.
I agree with that 100%.
crazes last blog post..From the land of craze
Lance September 16th, 2008, 7:45 pm
I agree with Honey above…basic sex education in schools and free and available condoms and birth control for everyone. When I say available, I mean like a basket loaded with condoms at the nurse’s station. Abstinence is bullshit and abstinence education is a farce.
Parent’s should educate their kids on the finer points of sex (ie technique, attitudes, values), but if that is impossible, which it will be in many cases, then it falls on the kids themselves to get the information. I would definitely go with watching high quality porn, reading books and ebooks, and talking with knowledgeable mentors. Sex is the difference maker in healthy LTR’s and shouldn’t be hidden, repressed, or marginalized.
CJ September 17th, 2008, 6:48 pm
So, Brad K, I’m in my sixties and don’t want to make any more babies, so I can’t have any more sex according to your doctrine – go fuck yourself!
CJs last blog post..This Sarah Palin Thing – Again!
Dan | AskDanAndJennifer.com September 25th, 2008, 11:23 pm
Kira, great article, loved it!
This is a very complex issue indeed, but at the end of the day, the “adults” are shirking their responsibility to educate the young and we have incredible STD and teen pregnancy rates.
The current policy from our government is unfortunately based on the religious preferences of a certain group, and that’s a major disservice to so many (see my STD comment above). Want to indoctrinate your kids in a particular religion and pretend sex doesn’t exist in the real world? Good for you; send your kids to one of the countless religious schools that are as popular as Starbucks locations these days.
The government policy today basically promotes ignorance to our children. You can’t make smart choices out of ignorance; it’s never worked in the past and it can’t work. It’s hard to find a time in human history when ignorance has been a winning strategy. What you don’t know CAN hurt you.
Sure, we should absolutely discourage our children from having sex until they’re old enough. In fact they should learn exactly what can happen, and how to avoid it. Duh! (sorry, i promise this will be the only instance of “duh” in this post; it’s late, we’re running short on eloquent).
But if super innocent, fully religiously indoctrinated, and even incredibly devout little Johnny has a weak moment (after a sneaking a few beers or whatever – and i’m not even going there, not tonight) I’d rather he had some clue how to protect himself and his girlfriend from STDs and making a baby.
Again, I choose informed over ignorance, any day of the week.
Perhaps we could send flyers to parents, you know, so they can check the box of type of sex ed they’d like their kid to get:
- ignorance (the ostritch approach – pretend it ain’t there and hope it doesn’t bite you) and discouragement
- informed discouragement
Again, it’s a very complex issue with lots of different sides, and we actually did a pretty controversial (no, really?) video on this – part of our live show.
Check out the video and the really great discussion we had on this topic in the Censorship and Sexual Repression Forum here – Why Our Kids Need Honest Sex Education, Not Ignorance (Video)
Would love for you to chime in on that discussion if you have something to add (which I’m guessing you do, LOL).
Have an awesome day!
Dan
Dan | AskDanAndJennifer.coms last blog post..Is It Okay to Have Anal Sex Without Lube? (Video)
Dan | AskDanAndJennifer.com September 25th, 2008, 11:30 pm
OMG, after my “pro-sex-ed and being informed to make smart choices” rant, I see the comment got posted and it’s showing our latest post from AskDanAndJennifer.com. And what is that? Well, it’s one of our video posts about practicing safe anal sex. Great timing with a touch of irony.
Yeah, we’re biased; toward being informed and talking about sex and other relationship topics openly and honestly. It is our goal to get our society through this dense fog of sex-o-phobia and get to where we can talk to our kids about this stuff.
Who knows, maybe we can cut the STD rate in half if we actually passed out condoms like Lance suggests above – right on Lance!
It is absolutely astounding to me that from what I understand they can’t talk about condoms in some government school classroom sex ed programs. Unless there’s a new “silly putty” protection scheme I don’t know about, condoms are still the way to go. And our kids are still dying from STDs and making babies in their teens.
Wow, there goes another rant. It may be time for bed, I seem to be getting cranky.
Have a great evening!
Dan
Dan | AskDanAndJennifer.coms last blog post..Is It Okay to Have Anal Sex Without Lube? (Video)
Violary March 18th, 2009, 10:56 am
This is the way things should be, get off what we are on now