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Finding Love Through Detachment
Several months ago I wrote an article for askdanandjennifer.com entitled Sick and Tired of Being Single? Here’s How to Find Love By Letting Go. It was an article based on the Law of Detachment which Deepak Chopra details in Chapter 6 of The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.
The Law of Detachment
The Law of Detachment says that…
…in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it. This doesn’t mean you give up the intention to create your desire…You give up your attachment to the result.
In other words, you have to NOT want it so much in order to get it. It’s what people are talking about when they tell you that the easiest way to find love is to stop looking for it.
It works because you are, in effect, giving up your control and showing your faith in the Universe. You know the Universe will bring what you desire, so you basically don’t have to worry about it anymore.
Why Attachment is Bad
When you are focused on wanting something so badly, you are focused on what you don’t have…the negative. That is, your thoughts are negatively based and, since like attracts like, you are attracting the negative. It is based in fear. Fear that you won’t find someone to love, that there’s no one out there for you or that there are simply no good men left.
Therefore, these are the things that Universe creates for you. Your thoughts become a self fulfilling prophecy. You’ve enteted a vicious cycle where the one thing you want most is the one thing you can’t find. And the more you can’t find it, the more you want it.
Breaking the Cycle
Detaching from something you want so badly may very well be one of the hardest things in the world to do. How do you just let the attachment go? How do you quit focusing so much on that which you want so badly? The truth is it’s hard. Damn hard.
Fake It Til You Make It
I actually wrote the article at a time in my life when I was still attached and struggling to let that attachment go. It was an attempt to ‘fake it til I made it.’ And it was a good start.
Think of it this way. When you’re in a crappy mood and go to work scowling, all you see is people scowling back at you. But when you put a smile on your face, even if you don’t feel like smiling, those scowling people begin to smile to. They can’t help it. A smile is contagious. Soon, you are going to work with a smile on your face and you’re feeling it. The contagious nature of the smile has gotten to you too. You smile more and you feel happier.
It’s the same with any intention you are trying to create in your life. Begin by making a concious effort at what it is you’re trying to create or attract and soon it takes no effort.
Change Your Focus
The other thing to do is find something else to focus on in your life. Begin working out or take up a new hobby. Rediscover something that used to bring you joy. Nurture other relationships and friendships. Get out more. Anything. Everything.
The last thing you want to do is sit in your home and feel badly because you’re single. Doing so will only make you feel worse and, again, focus on the negativity you’ve associated with finding love.
It Works
How do I know? Because I realized recently that I’ve made it. While I’d love to find love, it’s not all I think about. In fact, I rarely think about it. Even more importantly, I honestly love my life and am happy with it just the way it is. If I find someone to share it with, that’s wonderful. If not, I’m happy and content with things as they are.
Seriously, for the Law of Detachment to work you have to be not only willing, but happy with the outcome regardless of whether you create what you desire or not. And the truth is, I am. I have everything in life I need to be happy. Finding someone to share it with would just be icing on the cake.
Thoughts?
Brad K. September 9th, 2008, 8:24 am
Makes sense to me. Thanks!
craze September 9th, 2008, 9:55 am
I agree 100% I’ve really gotten into believing in the Law of Attraction lately. Not just for love but for everything in my life. You have to have faith that the Universe will give you what you need. When you appreicate what you have, and you stop “needing” it. I can’t tell you how many wonderful things have come my way since believing this way.
crazes last blog post..Monday, Monday..
auntiegwen September 9th, 2008, 12:13 pm
Just be careful what you wish for ! I know that only too well
lisaq September 10th, 2008, 5:49 am
Thanks BradK!
Yep Craze, you got it. It’s given me so much and made a huge difference in my life!
Haha Gwen. I’m not wishing for it, but if that’s how it works out I’m okay with that.
lisaqs last blog post..Long Distance Relationships
saneandsingle December 26th, 2008, 11:06 am
This makes sense! Maybe this is why it’s suddenly raining men in my life! I had mentally given up after meeting the LD Man. Now, there are all kinds of men everywhere! I don’t know if there is any quality in there yet, as that remains to be seen!
saneandsingle´s last blog post..It’s Raining Men! Hallelujah!