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Say What?!
I’m not really big into online dating but, by the same token, I am not opposed to it. I have a myspace profile but I created the profile with the intent of keeping in touch with friends, not finding a mate. That’s not to say that I am completely against conversing through messages and possibly meeting for a cup of coffee or some ice cream.
If someone sends me a message, I check their profile and based on what their message said and the content of their profile, I may or may not send them a message back. Because I don’t use the site as a dating tool (my profile even states that I am on the site for friends), I am less inclined to reply if the message they’ve sent isn’t open ended enough to reply to, is offensive, or just plain laughable.
Here are some examples of messages I have received and why I don’t feel they warrant a response:
“y r u single?” Are you kidding me? I am sure that this guy sees this as a compliment, which it may be, however it is not an appropriate conversation starter. He could have asked the same question in a much more tactful, much more substantial message. No thanks dude.
“Hey what’re you up to tonight?” l really can’t tell if this is meant to be small talk or the first step in an invitation to hang out with him. A better message would have been. “Hey I really liked your profile and was interested in getting to know you a bit. How has your day been? Have any exciting plans for this evening?”
“so whats up cutie, where’s the party at tonight?” Really? This may be the dumbest message I have received and it made me want to laugh and throw up at the same time. I can tell from the message alone that I would most likely not get along with this guy. This is definitely not an appropriate way to get a girls attention.
“u were lookin pretty hott so i had 2 holla.” I’m not sure that this one even needs an explanation. Uh thanks but no thanks.
“What’s up? You’re pretty attractive if I must say so! 
Sorry for the random message lol. I’m never really on myspace that much, but I just moved to Wichita from St. Louis and I’m really bored! So yea that’s why my page sucks :(.” Now, this message is seemingly harmless. However, about a minute after I recieved it, my sister received the exact same one. I actually did respond to let him know that copy and paste probably wasn’t the best method. He replied, admitting that he had used copy and paste to send the same message to about a dozen girls and just wanted to see what kind of response he would get. I laughed so hard I cried. Guys, just DON’T!
Now, let’s move on to some examples that are more appropriate and more likely to generate a response.
“Thanks for the add I know you have no idea who I am I just moved here about three months ago from TN. I know what you mean about not seeing family thats why I decided to move here I have a lot here and never got to see them. So how far are away are yours and how come you came to Wichita?” THIS IS PERFECT! It isn’t too short or too long. The fact that he knew that I was away from family showed that he actually read my profile and I loved that he said something about himself. Another plus is that he touched on something we have in common, missing our family. It is also worth mentioning that I did end up meeting him and still see him very consistently. =)
“I really enjoyed reading your profile. More importantly, your general message is pretty powerful…yet very true. I can tell you are a fun and kind person to be around. Keep smiling!!! Oh ya, your back ground cracks me up!” Everything about this makes me want to write him back. He complimented my profile, which shows that he read it, and his message was bright and cheery. Kudos to this guy!
So, guys, before you randomly send a message to someone, think about what you are writing. Reading the profile, not just looking at the pictures, is a good way to help substantiate your message. You don’t need to write a novel but make it more than one line and leave it open ended. If you want a response, you have to put forth a bit of effort in order to deserve one.
saneandsingle August 27th, 2008, 7:18 am
This goes right back to LisaQ’s blog from yesterday! You just won’t get a response with lame opening lines! OMG! I hate what I call the “form letter”, which is where the dude copies and pastes the same thing to several women. You can tell he has done it, because it will often sound more like a business letter, rather than a personal note.
Guys, add personal touches. Compliment something about my profile (it helps if you ACTUALLY READ it!). When I say “compliment,” I don’t mean come at me with “Girl, you are fine!” or “Ur pics are hot!” LOL
saneandsingles last blog post..Texting=NO SEX!!
Honey August 27th, 2008, 12:12 pm
Sweet heavens, yes, I agree! As I may have said before, the last time I was single I sent two guys a cute, short e-mail about something specific I saw in their profile (MySpace, actually). One e-mailed me a long pornographic story he had cut-and-pasted off some website. The (soon to be) BF e-mailed me and said, “Wow, we have the same favorite author! Have you read…”
It’s obviously a no-brainer who I blocked from e-mailing me EVER AGAIN and who I’m still with after 2.5 years.
cheekie August 27th, 2008, 6:25 pm
wow. am I the only one who never gets anyone trying to pick them up on myspace? lol…
oh ya, maybe I should turn my profile off of ‘private’.
I have never had any luck online, save for making some great guy friends. So I guess that makes it worth it…
What some guys think, or don’t think…god.
They need a manual already! Scares me who those lines work with…
Cat August 27th, 2008, 8:08 pm
OMG, I used to get so many crazy things from guys that I set my Myspace to private which has greatly reduced it. This reminds me of a time when I was “forced” to have someone as Myspace friend. The Comcast cable dude was installing the internet and asked if I had a myspace account. Thinking it was small talk as he tested the internet to see if it worked he had me sign on and then add him as a friend. *Rolls eyes* Now every now and then he sends me messages. I didn’t have the heart to say no (most of the people on my site, like you, are friends I keep in touch with not looking for love on that site). Huh, what cha gonna do?
Cats last blog post..Hilary made me late for work
kira August 28th, 2008, 11:00 am
Saneandsingle, you are absolutely right about using personal touches rather than a “form letter.” If they want our attention they have to put in enough effort to deserve it!
Honey, I imagine that the pornographic response would turn off a lot of people. Do they think that is actually an appropriate tactic?! Ugh. But congrats on the one that did work out!
Cheekie, it sounds like having your profile set to private keeps the most of the creepsters away! However, I used to have mine on private as well and it didn’t seem to curb it too much. And I agree…they do need a manual!
Cat, I’m gonna go ahead and give the Comcast guy a creeper award! First of all, it is inappropriate for him to have asked you to begin with and secondly, he should take the hint and stop!