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Emotions and Sex
Most of us are aware that women associate sex with emotion while men associate sex with, well, sex. As women, the way our brains are made makes it very difficult for us to have sex without forming a sense of attachment to the person we are having sex with. Unfortunately for us, men are perfectly capable of having casual sex without the worry of getting attached. Because emotion plays a role in sex, it is important to establish a mutual understanding based on the type of sexual relationship.
Types of Sexual Relationships:
One Night Stands
The ingredients for a one night stand include a man, a woman, sex, and usually alcohol. One night stands are tricky because generally the man expects sex and the female expects sex and a phone call the next day. The phone call would, of course, defeat the purpose of a one night stand.
One way to avoid the expectation of an ongoing relationship is to establish an understanding prior to any sexual activity. Both parties have to agree that nothing goes past that night. This way, ladies, if you know what you are getting into upfront, you have no right to be upset when he doesn’t call.
Friends With Benefits
Being friends with benefits means there was a friendship prior to a sexual relationship and it takes emotions to a whole different level for women. While there may not be labels of boyfriend and girlfriend, chances are that the woman has hopes of a relationship while the man still just wants sex. Because there was a friendship first, the man does have feelings his friend but those feelings are more than likely platonic.
Again, an understanding must be established. In a friends with benefits situation, it is easy to blur the lines of where the relationship ends. Both parties need to discuss whether or not it is an exclusive relationship and understand that if the sex comes to an end, the friendship may end as well.
F*ck Buddies
Two people that are f*ck buddies have an ongoing relationship that is strictly sexual. They were not friends prior to having sex and have no serious intentions of pursuing a dating relationship. However, women may have similar emotions as when in a friends with benefits type relationship.
Once again, both parties must come to an understanding. It must be clear if there is no chance for a dating relationship in the future and if there is a possibility that the sexual relationship may not be monogamous. Both parties must know that the sole purpose of their relationship is to obtain sexual gratification and nothing more.
Know What Type of Relationship You Are In
Relationships need to be clearly defined and understood by the people in the relationship. If there is no clear definition, people, especially women, get attached and often times hurt. Communication and honesty are key. You have to talk to each other to make expectations clear.
A Warning For the Ladies
Girls, knowing yourself and what you can and cannot accept is very important here. If you have a history of forming attachments to men based on having sex with them, a casual sex relationship probably isn’t for you. If you have hopes of the relationship becoming more, it’s probably not for you either. The truth is that these relationships very rarely turn into a long term relationship with emotions, feelings and commitment. The only real way for you to avoid disappointment and heartache is to avoid casual sex relationships altogether. Wouldn’t you really be better off looking for a relationship with someone who is looking for the same things you are? Of course you would.
It is important to point out there is nothing wrong with a casual sex relationship. The key to these relationships being successful is that both partners are consenting and okay with the implications such a relationship brings with it. If that works for you, enjoy! If not, steer clear. It’s really that simple.
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