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Online Dating? Beware of Falling Too Fast!
So you’ve been hanging out at an online dating site and you’ve found someone you’re interested in. You’ve sent an initial email and received a great reply. You begin emailing back and forth and maybe even progressed to phone calls. Next thing you know, you’re falling for this guy, and you haven’t even met face to face yet! Whoa!
Here’s the problem. Anyone can portray themselves in any way through email and on the phone. That sweet guy may not be what, or even who, he says he is.
He literally may be someone else
Look, you think you know who this is, but until you meet in person you really have no idea. Sure, you’ve seen pictures on the profile. Maybe he’s even emailed you some other ones. So? There are pictures of people all over the web kids.
Who’s to say these haven’t been copied and pasted from someone else’s profile somewhere. Or that they’re not pictures of a friend. So you’ve been chatting through webcam and you’re sure the pictures match the person. Fabulous, but that’s not the only thing to watch for here.
Another danger here is that you don’t really know that this guy isn’t married or seeing someone. It’s a very simple thing to list yourself as single even if you’re not. After all, dating sites don’t ask for documentation now do they?
What is said and what is done may not match
Seriously kids, he can tell you any damn thing he wants. About four years ago I met a soldier online. At the time we met he had 3 months remaining there before coming home. We talked and we talked and we talked. He said all the right things at all the right times. I fell. Hard.
I was convinced that I had finally met the man of my dreams. Then he came home and I woke up. Hard.
He came home on a Thursday. We spent an incredible night and day together. He told me to call if I wanted to get together later in the week. I did. Boy, was I in for a surprise!
When I called to make weekend plans, he told me he was going camping with the guys over the weekend. The guys! The same ones he had just spent a year in Iraq with. It was the beginning of a long bumpy road. At the end of the road, I realized that he had just told me what I wanted to hear to hook me.
This guy had no intention of having a relationship with me. He wanted to get laid when he got home and then whenever he felt the need afterwards. A hard lesson.
The truth…
The truth of the matter is that you simply cannot know someone until you meet them face to face and spend quality time with them. There are so many things you miss online. Things like facial expressions and body language. Things like chemistry. Things that words can’t express.
Trust me. Take it slow. Arrange for a meet as soon as possible and keep your feet grounded in reality until you’ve met. Take it from there and see where it goes. Base your feelings on anything else, and there’s a very good chance you’ll get your heart broken. Hard.
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