Bouncing Back From a Breakup

Maybe you sensed it coming, or maybe it hit you completely by surprise. Either way, breakups still have a way of making us feel as though someone has ripped our lives out from underneath of us. “Things just aren’t working out,” or “I think you are really great but I just have some things to figure out on my own,” he says.

No matter what the reason for them, breakups are generally very difficult to deal with and accept. The blow is even worse if you know that you’re now ex used a bullshit excuse in an attempt to “let you down gently.” The good news is that the hurt won’t last forever and now you have new opportunities to get to know yourself as well as meet someone more deserving of the awesome person you are.

For a lot of people, going to sleep alone that first night is one of the hardest parts of a breakup. Luckily there are a few things you can do to attempt to make that first night easier.

1) Call a friend

Call someone you know that you can talk to and that will listen. Go get ice cream together or have them bring ice cream to your place. The ice cream will act as a sweet treat and a distraction at the same time. Talking with your friend will also help. Not only will they listen, they can often help offer some perspective and help you see that not only are you better off, but you will find someone ten times more spectacular than the loser that just let you go.

2) Let it out

Cry, punch a pillow, scream, or all of the above. Keeping your emotions bottled up with only hinder the process whereas facing them head-on will help you to cope more easily.

3) Let him know how you feel

No, this doesn’t mean you have to call him. Try writing a letter. Include how you felt during the relationship and how you feel now. Be sure to get out everything you have ever wanted to say to him. You don’t necessarily have to send the letter, but writing will help organize your thoughts and clear your head up a bit.

4) Go to bed early

There is no sense in jeopardizing a healthy night’s sleep over a breakup. Turn on something soothing to listen to as you drift off such as mediation beeps or a sounds of the jungle CD. If you don’t have anything of the sort, try turning on a fan. The low hum and cool air will help ease you to sleep. Also take a warm, damp washcloth, fold it, and lay it over your eyes. If you have been crying, this will help soothe your sore eyes as well as reduce puffiness. Take your pet to bed for some company or grab a few extra pillows so the bed doesn’t seem so empty.

No one ever said breakups were easy. They can make us feel like the world is coming to an end and that we can’t go on another day. Thankfully, neither of those things are true. Breakups can be used as a tool to learn lessons and make us stronger.

My mom told me once that a breakup “isn’t the end of the world, it simply means that God has something better planned for us.” She is right. The breakup happened because it wasn’t meant to be. Rather than throwing ourselves an ongoing pity party, we should take it as an opportunity to start new things and meet new people. As the old cliché says, everything happens for a reason.

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Posted by kira on Tuesday, July 15th, 2008 and is filed under Featured. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.